BGM: Radiohead - Fake Plastic TreesTomorrow I will go to see my doctor again to talk about various issues I have, and get some medicines. When I was a college student, and already had troubled so much to live on, a book I had read suggeste…

BGM: Oasis - Don't Look Back In AngerRecently, I have been thinking about what has influenced this character of mine, and also these opinions I have within my mind. My friends sometimes say that my ideas are very philosophical and profound…

BGM: Blur - Young and LovelyThis morning, even though I had thought I wanted to read Haruki Murakami's "Underground", I couldn't concentrate and gave up. So on the memo pad, I started writing my current thoughts as usual, remembering Osamu…

BGM: Eels - Climbing To The MoonAlthough I can't write what happened certainly in detail here... this morning, a silly idea/delusion in my mind confused me deeply. I had to struggle with that confusion and almost got mad at my workplace. O…

BGM: Takkyu Ishino - Dream Baby DreamWhat does "intelligence" mean? This morning, I thought about this for a while because I couldn't find out what it could be for me. For me, the concept of intelligence seems to be a skill to watch things…

BGM: Fliipper's Guitar - Groove TubeWhat is love? This morning, I started thinking about this question again by reading Yukio Mishima's "Confession of a Mask". You might laugh at this... but for me, love is a concept in our mind like God o…

BGM: The Beatles - When I'm Sixty-FourThis morning, I read two interesting blog articles about aging and tried to think about my case. As I have written in these journals, I will be 49 this year (when Souseki Natsume passed away.) How can …

BGM: Masayoshi Takanaka - Breezin'I had a day off. This morning, on Discord I enjoyed chatting about Haruki Murakami. Then a user told me I was an interesting person. Interesting... Maybe so, I guess. Always at that time, I say "I am just …

BGM: The Rolling Stones - Paint It, BlackRecently, a friend of mine shared an interesting article with us, in the LINE group about autism. It tells a manga artist's sad memory about a teacher. Once, when the artist was a child, she drew a …

BGM: The Doors - Light My FireThis morning, I started reading Yukio Mishima's "Postwar Journals", a collection of his public journals. In this, he writes about hate toward music, because it doesn't have any shape or meaning within it. He w…

BGM: Spacemen 3 - I Love YouThis morning I thought about how to draw each boundary between the outer things and me properly again. Although every advice I receive must be precious, I need to think that their opinions are just THEIR ones, w…

BGM: Motoharu Sano & The Coyote Band - ラジオ・デイズI went to the main house of my group home to see the sub-admin again this morning, where we talked about the certain emotion HATE in me for a while. Yes, for about an hour... Although I …

BGM: Spiral Life - Dance To GodWhy do I read philosophers such as Nietzsche, Heidegger, and Wittgenstein? Once in the 90s, many "cool" philosophers' masterpieces such as Deleuze's and Dellida's were there. But I had never read them because…

BGM: Pixies - Where Is My Mind?I worked late today. Listening to Sade's songs, I tried to think about the misogyny within me this morning, and even sent my honest feeling to my friends on the app LINE. As I have been always doing, I look b…

BGM: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were HereIn 2016, in this country Japan, a callous incident happened. It was called "the Sagamihara Stabbings", in which 19 people had lost their lives to a murderer Satoshi Uematsu, who had strictly believed tha…

BGM: The Vaselines - Jesus Wants Me For A SunbeamYou can find numerous groups/communities on the internet, or in this real world now. In my case, I have been joining various groups actually to satisfy my interests and curiosity. For exampl…

BGM: Manic Street Preachers - 1985This morning, I went to the library to borrow Charles Bukowski's autobiography "Ham On Rye". And, with Bob Dylan's songs, I started reading this. It reminds me of my childhood and teenage days... as I have…

BGM: Motoharu Sano - Complication ShakedownThis morning, during my work, I wondered about this. Are my journals easy to read/understand by others? About this, I'm still worried that they can become too difficult. As a cliché, we often say …

BGM: R.E.M. - World Leader PretendI had a day off today. I read a Japanese critic, Susumu Nishibe's book "Life and Death [西部邁『生と死、この非凡なる平凡』]" again this morning, and wondered why I still (yes, STILL in this Netflix, YouTub…

エヴリ・ルーザーアーティスト:イギー・ポップワーナーミュージック・ジャパンAmazonBGM: Iggy Pop - Personal JesusThis morning, a problem happened in my workplace. I saw that had been happening actually from a distant place, but I didn't ask ab…

BGM: The Velvet Underground - Here She Comes NowAs I have been already writing recently in these journals... Once, when I was a teenager, my mind had been haunted literally by various delusions. Yes, they must have been poisonous like fart…

Suede: 30th Anniversary - Deluxe Gatefold Digipakアーティスト:SuedeEdsel RecordsAmazonBGM: Suede - Animal NitrateI had a day off today. Although I had decided not to do special this morning, I couldn't stay still in my room, so I went to A…

Songs of Faith & Devotionアーティスト:Depeche ModeRhinoAmazonBGM: Depeche Mode - Walking In My ShoesThis morning, I thought about an interesting Japanese word "Amae(甘え)". It can mean "spoiled", "indulged" and "pampered". TBH, I was often…

Road to Freedomアーティスト:Young DisciplesTalkin LoudAmazonBGM: Young Disciples - Apparently Nothin'How many books I have read during this life? I check my bookmeter and find that about 1600 books have gone through my head in these 9 year…

Lou Reed (Original Album Classics)アーティスト:REED, LOURCAAmazonBGM: Lou Reed - Walk On The Wild SideHow can I properly handle/manage this negative, dark emotion? As I have written in these journals, I can find that there must be a cluste…

レイン・ドッグ（リマスター）アーティスト:トム・ウェイツユニバーサル ミュージックAmazonBGM: Tom Waits - Innocent When You DreamI had a day off today. This morning, I saw a sub-admin of my group home to confess the issues I have had. As I ha…

ベスト・コレクション (the definitive collection)アーティスト:スティーヴィー・ワンダーユニバーサルAmazonBGM: Stevie Wonder - You Are The Sunshine Of My LifeAs I have written in these journals, I am an alcohol-addicted guy therefore have bee…

World Clique -Deluxe-アーティスト:Deee-LiteCherry RedAmazonBGM: Deee-Lite - Groove Is In The HeartAn emptiness, a huge hole in my mind... This morning I tried to read another book, but couldn't concentrate on that so started thinking about…

Ecology Of Everyday Life 毎日の環境学アーティスト:小沢健二ユニバーサル ミュージック (e)AmazonBGM: 小沢健二 - ローラースケート・パークThis morning, I read Susumu Nishibe's book "The Structure of Nihilism" [西部邁『虚無の構造』] and thought …

『ザ・ビートルズ 1967年～1970年』 2023エディション (通常盤)(SHM-CD)(2枚組)アーティスト:ザ・ビートルズユニバーサル ミュージックAmazonBGM: The Beatles - All You Need Is LoveRecently, an elder friend of mine posted a message about a classic s…