BGM: Spiral Life - Another Day, Another NightI learned an important concept "basic trust" from psychologist Erickson. This means the trust that "I'm the one and only precious person", and this has been built by the relationship with my par…

BGM: Massive Attack - Be Thankful For What You've GotToday was a day off. This morning I went to the library and borrowed Kunio Suzuki's book. It reminds me of my teenage days... when I was a high school student, I was into ultra-leftism. …

BGM: フジファブリック - 桜の季節"Go home" and "Die soon". TBH I sometimes hear those comments to me. Indeed, it is not real. Just phantom. Now no one says that kind of thing to me. But once I was hated terribly and blamed a lot because of …

BGM: Polaris - 季節I have loved pop music since I was a kid. When I was a high school student, I wanted to share my taste so joined a broadcasting club once. But my taste wasn't accepted by the other members. At that time, the cool musicia…

BGM: 小沢健二 - 天使たちのシーンTBH, although I feel this is shameful, I think that there is a really "low" wall between death and life in my mind. No reason, but when I get bored or tired, I have an idea like "everything is over" and "I w…

BGM: 核P-MODEL - Big BrotherIn the morning I woke up and found the brilliant snow country. As every morning's duty, I went to Lawson, bought a bottle of coffee, and wrote this diary with that coffee. On Facebook, I watched various friends'…

BGM: UNICORN - ヒゲとボインAs the weather news said, it started snowing this evening. It got thicker step by step so I had to walk to return to my group home. Upon returning back, I went to the library and borrowed Hideo Kobayashi's book "…

BGM: SHERBETS - シベリアThis morning I felt a slight fever which says 37.0. Certainly, it's a little bit high for me. Luckily, today was a day off so I decided to stay calm. In the morning time, a person came to my group home to do the mon…

BGM: フィッシュマンズ - いかれたBabyToday was a day off. This morning I went to AEON and thought about various things as usual. I can remember this now. When I started attending the "danshu" meeting, a member said, "your eyes were dead whe…

BGM: くるり - World's End SupernovaAlthough I always do this... I was in a nightmare when I was a student. I couldn't make a friend there. I even was treated as a mad person so gave up everything. I stayed alone and read books, or enjoy mu…

BGM: Primal Scream - Don't Fight It, Feel ItToday I worked late. This morning I went to the library and borrowed Kenichiro Mogi's "A Life and Contingency". I read it and felt impressed deeply. I am here as this person. It is a clear fact. …

BGM: The Chemical Brothers - Let Forever BeAbout a few years ago, when this corona pandemic had just begun, I went to the Tokyu Hands in Himeji. I bought the memo pad "Mnemosyne" and started writing my thoughts in English. Since then, I us…

BGM: PSY・S - Cubic LoversToday was a day off. This morning I went to the library and borrowed Nobuko Morita's book "Philosophy with children". It was a really profound book. It tells us how our being in this world can be remarkable. I am …

BGM: New Order - KraftyAlthough this is not rare for me, I thought that my life had ended this morning. I had no reason why. But, basically, I sometimes think about my English memo that "I could write until tomorrow, but today I might not …

BGM: U2 - Where The Streets Have No NameToday was a day off. This morning I went to the hospital and see my doctor. I confessed my problems to him. He recommended that I walk and do stretch exercises to sleep well. Moving my body would wor…

BGM: pupa - CreaksThis morning I got quiet because I read a piece of sad news. Yukihiro Takahashi passed away. I am just a listener of Yellow Magic Orchestra(YMO), so I can't follow his solo albums or side projects. In short, I am just an …

BGM: 新居昭乃 - 覚醒都市Today I worked early. This morning, suddenly I got an idea that says "who am I?". When I go to the company, people treat me as an employee. We make a contract, and they record me as a member of the database. They ev…

BGM: 詩人の血 - バレンタインI worked late today. This morning I read Shinsuke Shimojo's "What is consciousness?". A very profound book. Although it is an old book, it still asks us various problems to think about. I had an interest in the …

BGM: b-flower - Both Sides, NowIt was a day off today. I read Tetsuya Furuta's "Do philosophy the usual words", and I thought that we can learn how to write Japanese once again from this book. I was attracted by the part where he tries to …

BGM: Cutemen - Love Deeep InsideToday I worked late. I read Toshiaki Kosakai's "Phantom of God" a little this morning and found it thrilling. He writes that we can choose our death. We can die if we want. Of course, in my opinion, this dis…

BGM: Radiohead - My Iron LungToday I thought of the phrase "Do what you like". Probably it came from the reading of Toshiaki Kosakai's book. "Do what I like"... I have chosen the writing as "what I like". I have certainly kept on writing f…

BGM: Kenji Ozawa - ラブリーToday I worked late. This morning I read Toshiaki Kosakai's "Living in the world which has no answer" a little again. It tells us about the author's unique life and also his brilliant point of view, and it remind…

2023/01/08 BGM: Perfume - チョコレイト・ディスコToday was a day off. This morning I read Michael Ende's "Momo" with Radiohead's "OK Computer". TBH I had never read "Momo" until today, and I got impressed by its profound messages. Through t…

BGM: Pizzicato Five - ファンキー・ラブチャイルドToday I worked early. This morning I listened to The Art Of Noise's "Legs". It's a famous song in Japan because a Japanese magician Mr. Maric uses it as his theme song. When I listen to this …

BGM: Aphex Twin - Donkey RhubarbToday I worked late. This morning I read Morten H. Christiansen & Nick Chater's "The Language Game" a little. I try to ask myself the question "why can I use language as its rule orders". This book tells me …

BGM: Momus - Trust Me, I'm a DoctorEvery day I make several sentences in English so I sometimes get some phrases in English accidentally. Today, while reading Daniel Dennett's "Kinds of Minds", I got the words "Do Machines Have Desire?". A…

BGM: Original Love - 月の裏で会いましょうToday I worked late. The library will open tomorrow so I thought about what books I want to borrow. I once wrote about a new Japanese word "Taipa", which means "time performance". That word reminded…

BGM: Oasis - WhateverDuring today's work, I was thinking about the relationship between me and autism. Once I strictly believed that my life would be just crap. I can't enjoy the things that many people enjoy (such as small talk or driving…

BGM: Sugiurumn - Disco Cat (feat. Aiha Higurashi)Today was the first day to work this year. I can't say when I started feeling this from, but now I feel certainly how important to keep my routines. I should do the things I always do withou…

BGM: Susumu Yokota - On & OnToday was a day off. I thought I wanted to enjoy sleeping deeply because I had worked yesterday. I could enjoy today as the first laziest day of 2023... but I couldn't stay still in my room so I went to Aeon. Th…