Back To Life

Back To Reality

journal in English

2022/01/17 English

Yesterday I enjoyed the meeting about autism. Maybe because of that, today I felt blue in the morning. I felt sick but I went to AEON because I could do nothing if I didn't eat something. At AEON, I wrote what I was feeling on my memo pad.…

2022/01/16 English

I've read Yoshikichi Furui's "Karioujyouden Shibun" completely. But my reading was not done with a quiet attitude. I just read the book which was half done because of getting bored. So I can't proud of it. After that, I read Fernando Pesso…

2022/01/15 English

BGM: Soul II Soul "Back To Life"Yesterday I wrote as "I might catch a cold". After that, nothing happens seriously. But after today's work, nothing seemed to be done as of today's routine. No energy in myself... so I didn't watch any movie…

2022/01/14 English

BGM: The Beatles "A Day In The Life"I keep on reading Susumu Sogo's "Can't Live Without Movies 1999-2002" and also read Maylis Besserie's "Le Tiers Temps". The latter is a novel about the late stage of life of Samuel Beckett, who is well k…

2022/01/13 English

BGM: Senri Oe "MAN ON THE EARTH"Reading Susumu Sogo's "Can't Live Without Movies 1999-2002", I think about the calmness from the articles again. Once I had an idiot thought and believed that controversial articles or poisonous ones were ca…

2022/01/12 English

BGM: Bonnie Pink "Dog and Moon"In the afternoon I came back from my parents' house to my group home. After taking a nap, I decided that today should be the way of resting completely and read "Can't live without movies 1999-2002". And I wen…

2022/01/11 English

BGM: Paul Weller "Sunflower"Today was a day off so I went back to my parents' home. In this "changing the years" season, I had worked so I couldn't go back. But I didn't do anything special although I went back. My parents and I sat at Kot…

2022/01/10 English

BGM: Kenji Ozawa "Lovely"This morning I felt sick seriously. Living itself was sick enough... But I wrote my journal, as usual. And I washed my clothes, took a bath, and had breakfast. I went to AEON, had lunch, and wrote what I thought on…

2022/01/09 English

BGM: Flipper's Guitar "Coffeemilk Crazy"I wake up today. At the time I usually do. I write a journal and do laundry. I also have breakfast. I want to do these works even if I was depressed. Of course, sometimes I don't want to do them. I c…

2022/01/08 English

BGM: U2 "Bad"Am I wrong? I'm thinking about that. Not putting myself as an autistic person into the world, but making the world into myself. Of course, I have to accept my bad points but I want to change this world. Show the self-size myse…

2022/01/07 English

BGM: Phil Collins "Another Day In Paradise"I've read Yoshikichi Furui's "My Essay-ism". An essay in this book lets me think about the life I could live in. "Alternative life" or "Alternative myself"... If I didn't encounter "the ice age of…

2022/01/06 English

BGM: Original Love "JUMPIN' JACK JIVE"Today I saw a blue sky. A brilliant sunny day... as I wrote this once, I remind of the days I had been drunken by alcohol on such a sunny day. I can't drive a car because of autism, so I could go nowhe…

2022/01/05 English

BGM: Sadistic Mika Band "Wishes for Time Machine"Today was the day of the hospital. But all I did was just being got medicines. Doing payment, I found that I had lost the important paper for doing it. I went to the city office and asked to…

2022/01/04 English

BGM: Julia Fordham "Happy Ever After"The first three days of this year have gone by. I had a workday and a day off. I spent three days as usual so couldn't enjoy the feeling of the beginning. I have not visited a shrine... How will this ye…

2022/01/03 English

BGM: Belle And Sebastian "Like Dylan In The Movies"Today I worked late so had a little time in the morning. But I don't know how I spend the time. What should I do... I thought that I wanted to watch "THIS IS US", which I had stopped watch…

2022/01/02 English

BGM: Talking Heads "Road To Nowhere"The morning I watched Ava Marie DuVernay's "13th". A person said that this movie is a must-watch to think about the discrimination for black people or Black Lives Matter itself. I thought that this has a…

2022/01/01 English

BGM: Motoharu Sano "Angelina"Recently I have been away from movies so I wondered what I should watch at the beginning of this year, and at last, watched "Asakusa Kid" on Netflix. This movie is about the half-life of Japanese comedian Takes…

2021/12/31 English

BGM: King Crimson "Red"Yesterday I had watched movies for a long time so now I want to watch another. Therefore, I started reading books about movies only. Today I read Shinji Miyadai's "The World is basically Chaos" a little. I like his m…

2021/12/30 English

BGM: Little Creatures "Giants Are Dying"Today I've watched two movies. The one was the documentary "Searching For Sugar Man", which was the one I had written about in my yesterday's journal. An American, nameless singer-songwriter Rodrigue…

2021/12/29 English

BGM: Rodriguez "Crucify Your Mind"I'm still reading Yoshikichi Furui's "Karioujyouden Shibun". In this busy season, the person who reads such a book must be me only even if Japan is a large country... If I get bored of it, I read "The Song…

2021/12/28 English

BGM: Number Girl "YARUSE NAKIO'S BEAT"I've read Fernando Pessoa's "The Book of Disquiet". This is the fifth time I've read it completely. I usually read this book if I don't want to read something anymore. These fragments Pessoa had writte…

2021/12/27 English

BGM: Oasis "Whatever"Am I still dreaming? I'm thinking about this. A dream...that I want to be a pro writer and live by writing. The people who had achieved great works often talk about the power of keeping dreams. "I have a dream"... But …

2021/12/26 English

BGM: ZABADAK "A Distant Music"I'm thinking about the comment by someone I had met last Wednesday. "Have you thought about changing your job?". I still have the thing I want to do in my company so I'll keep on doing this job, but maybe I wo…

2021/12/25 English

BGM: Tom Waits "Innocent When You Dream"I read Douglas Richard Hofstadter's "Gödel, Escher, Bach" more. I have arrived at a part of the zen communication. This book seems to tell about the trial of finding any paradox in an order (For exam…

2021/12/24 English

BGM: PERSONZ "Déjà vu"This morning I took a long time to see what books I should borrow. What books do I want to read at the end of the year... I couldn't see what should be. There are too many books so I can't find a proper one I want... …

2021/12/23 English

BGM: Ryuichi Sakamoto "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence"A manager of my company asked me to do work which needs my ability of English. This offer might vanish because it isn't formed as a formal work yet, but it might be a new work of mine. Of…

2021/12/22 English

BGM: Venus Peter "Every Planets Son"This morning I went to meet the main staff of my group home and spent money on the rent. I talked with her for a while. I brought a handout of my memo of the worrying and problems about my workplace whic…

2021/12/21 English

BGM: Pavement "Range Life"Christmas is coming. For me, this year I will spend a "lonely Christmas" as usual. Probably I will listen to Jazz classics, read some books and watch some movies. I have watched Wayne Wang's movie "Smoke" every Ch…

2021/12/20 English

BGM: Teenage Fanclub "Hang On"Today I could write the novel again. I thought I couldn't write more, but if I start writing I found various ideas from somewhere in my head and I just write them out. I also started writing a note for the nov…

2021/12/19 English

BGM: Aztec Camera "Walk Out To Winter"At last, I started writing a novel "Dead Can Dance". I wrote about a death I accidentally met on Twitter. The death of Sayaka Kanda, a Japanese famous actress... It is unnatural so some people say that…