I worked early today. This morning, I told my serious doubts about my co-workers to my job coach on LINE. She answered me soon "Let's think about that together". By reading that message, I could feel a clear, strong power in my mind. But, this is a strange fact though, I reached a primal question. Why can I trust this job coach, not my co-workers? She could tell a lie like "he is an idiot" etc.
What if I asked "Do you hate me?" to my friends? How would they answer? Once, I had tried to find out any single possibility of being hated by anyone else, even though they said they were my friends. Even they would say "I trust you. I like you completely!", at that period I had been possessed by a seriously suspicious mind, therefore, I would think it must be a lie. In a way, I was in a really confused maze in my mind.
About this kind of topic, I remember R.D.Laing's evergreen one "Do You Love Me?". In that classic, Laing tells us the true sadness of this distrust for anyone. If they get into that maze, probably no one's word will enter their minds to open... then, in my case (according to my personal life history), how could I get out of that maze?
I can't see the reason why I could have been out of that maze, and also I can trust my job coach even though she could tell a lie... Thinking about this topic, I remember Radiohead's banger "My Iron Lung" as "Faith, You're driving me away". Yes, our minds are invisible, and also they can change easily as my mind does (especially, this mind is like liquid which must not have any clear shape to capture). I remember Ludwig Wittgenstein's discussions of our minds.
So, now all I can say about this is this. I trust not only so-called verbal communication which consists of our clear words, but trust my hunch in my mind even though it won't show any clear evidence. Why can I do that miracle action? Because I have experienced a lot of events with that job coach, and also my friends. Also, the books and music I have enjoyed have trained my hunch... sorry, it can be too abstract.
