BGM: Pizzicato Five - Happy Sad
Today I worked late. This morning I went to the library and borrowed the book by Ryuichi Sakamoto and Shinichi Fukuoka. In this book, they talk about the difference between words/logic and nature. People/human beings try to capture the nature by their words, but it must be so profound that it can't be described completely by that. I agree with this opinion. Me, I am trying to write/describe everything by words and/or logic clearly, but that "logical" trial has its limit. Nature is really profound therefore I have to face it with a modest mind... I thought that it is the same as my recent activity, going to the mountain. Or the interest I am having in Henry David Thoreau's "Walden" has the same thing as it. I might want to touch the things beyond my tiny understanding. Yes, logic is important. But nature's greatness is also precious.
In this book, they say our bodies are also the creations by nature. They are nature itself... so I can't control my body. It means it can be precious and grateful. Not "mine", but a given one... Me, I do eat, poop, and bleed. They are the reality. This idea would reach the conclusion that I am a "gifted" one, therefore a souvenir. Then, I am an one by my parents and a higher existence. A friend said to me as "you are the person of words!". Indeed, I am trying to be logical by words (so I use my words to write my journal like this, and also think about various things). But I never think that "the words are almighty". There must be something which I can't describe by words, and also control by my poor language. I want to stay modest to that fact.
Starting my work... today I met my job coach to held a meeting at my workplace. It was really a humid day. Through that meeting, I almost cry a little... It was really unbelievable (or just a miracle) that we have come to this state. Now we can talk about my (or our) work creatively and positively. Ah, it has been a long way. I remember... I started joining/attending the meeting about autism, and learned that there is a system of job coaches. Indeed, once I gave up to use it saying "that must be the story of any urban area, so in this rural area I can never use it". But we tried to work hardly to use it to the workplace, and realized it. Me, I am really surprised at this fact. It can happen... I can't see what will happen in future, but I never want to lose this thanksgiving feeling. I touched other people's tenderness certainly.
And... life goes on. This evening, looking at my Facebook I noticed my account has been hacked! Even though I did a struggle, I couldn't solve the problem so created new one. OH MY GOSH! The mood I enjoyed with my job coach has been "crushed". But, some friends of mine sent me their friend requests via WhatsApp soon. That is glad to me. I should be careful for the security... I learned this clear fact again. And also I learned that the friendship we have built must be everlasting. I am grateful for it. C'est la vie. I went back to my work, and felt that I could get peace of my mind again therefore I thought my work is great. I got another chance to understand/think how the connection of social media can be, therefore it must be a "good lesson".
