BGM: Oasis - Married With Children
Today I worked late. It was a fine day so I thought what music suits the day like today. I tried to listen to Swing Out Sister's songs. It seemed that spring was certainly coming and my mind got excited in somewhere. I got nervous because something bad would happen... I thought that I wanted to read the rest part of Yoshikichi Furui's book but it didn't come into my mind, so I gave up and started Yoshio Kataoka's essay "Life of Words". This is how I spend the day of working late. Kataoka's writing was really interesting and I learned several funny things. Japanese language and society have unique facts or strange phenomenon... those are the things I sometimes can't find because I get used to the situation in Japan therefore forget to identify. I like thinking about languages so need to understand the real state of Japan with foreigner's eyes or senses like Kataoka.
If I got bored reading the book, I started the homework of the English conversation class. I did it with G. Love & Special Sauce's groovy music. I wrote about the memory that once I had been said "you're NICE MIDDLE (this means I'm a nice middle aged person)" on the internet. I forgot the time and enjoyed it. Although I wonder what I should write before I start writing, I just try to write with the movement of the "frixion pen" which I love to use. Then I certainly feel that various ideas flood from my mind more and more. Those ideas come up to the surface of my consciousness and start having their shape on a paper. I think that it must be the pleasure of "detox". I might have to do this kind of activity to "reset" my mind. I should do this as one of the activities of my daily life... or I should "find" the problem in my mind with writing like this.
I started working and entered the resting time. During work, I used my head very hardly so I couldn't think anything at the rest time. Listening to Mrs. Lauryn Hill, I just did "net surfing" with my smartphone. I read the interview with Kinichi Hagimoto, a Japanese legendary comedian, who is now enjoying his activity as a YouTuber. I learned that he had said "As my philosophy of the life, I never go against nature. Everything depends on luck". I felt that my eyes were opened exactly with that comment and thought following the nature can be a positive attitude of living life. Recently I felt the aging because my teeth chipped, so I should follow the fact of my aging I thought, I could never be younger than now anymore, so I have to accept the real and live toughly and neatly.
The comment that "everything depends on luck" has a really deep something. Me, the bad luck I had was the fact that I was born as an autistic person. But that autism becomes the reason why I could build the connection with the staff of my group home and also the members of the meeting. And also, the connection of the "danshu" meeting I met at the time I had wandered on the internet with drunken mind, and the connection with the members of the English conversation class through Shiso International Association work as the basis of my life. These facts tell me that I am basically a lucky person. I shouldn't seek for the things I can't touch (for example, a lot of money, status, meeting a beautiful woman, etc) but I commit the real things I can reach out. That products me a certain happiness... then, I am already happy since the time I can't see. Yes, it was like the story of Souseki Natsume's short story. I was already happy.