BGM: 井上陽水 - 少年時代
Today I worked early. At lunchtime, I enjoyed Ry Cooder's music. TBH, I don't know his music well, but I just like his music from the movie "Paris, Texas", so enjoy it as a light fan. I have never watched movies a lot since I was 40, therefore I was sometimes laughed at my ignorance by cinema freaks. It hurt my inferiority complex. Ah, inferiority complex... I was once always soaked into inferiority complex deeply because I was born in really countryside, Shiso city (probably Shiso city would get angry because of this diary), therefore I never knew any trends, fashion, culture from Tokyo. Of course, now I feel a certain friendship in this Shiso city. I have many friends and supporters in this city. It is great.
Inferiority complex reminds me of the fact that I was once at Waseda student, but I couldn't accept this natural myself, so I lived with huge inferiority in my mind and spent my campus life. Waseda...sometimes people say that I am great because once I was from Waseda. But at that period, my mind was rotten like a ruin, and really introspective. I had some chances to talk with foreign people, but I felt really sick because I couldn't have any self-confidence in my English, and also my Japanese. Now I remember that as a shameful memory. I just kept on staying in my shell, and enjoyed books and music. At lunchtime, I read Yoshio Kataoka's "Outside of Japanese language", and found that Kataoka says we have to go out of our mother tongue of Japanese when we use English. Going out of comfortable Japanese and let ourselves be into the system of English, which is completely different from us. It was really a great opinion.
Remembering that my shameful memories, I thought that one of the reasons for my past unhappiness came from this fact. It was just the period of beginning the internet in our life, so there were still thick walls of politics and cultures between our countries. Therefore, the people who can use English fluently have been treated as "international" people, or been laughed by cynical point of view. This idea brought me to listen to Scha Dara Parr's masterpiece "Towering Nonsense". This album has a song that disses that kind of "international" people. It is still brilliant and actual. Indeed, we have to understand the fact that now the world has been "globalized" from the past that we adored America and Europe. The atmosphere is changing. Some Japanese enjoy Korean culture. Then, I say to myself that I shouldn't adore other cultures too much, but should learn how different from us. The world is changing, but I want to be modest to the vast world.
This evening, I went to the English conversation class. Today, we talked about the topic of the cinema culture. We learned how different between American culture and Japanese clearly. After that, we discussed "what genre is your favorite?" and "what movie do you enjoy again and again?". I also talked about some movies from my poor knowledge. For example, this season, this atmosphere of blooming Sakura flowers reminds me of Hirokazu Koreeda's "Our Little Sister", etc. Other members also told us about "Slam Dunk" and Disney's masterpieces, so we could enjoy valuable time with a peaceful mind. Now, I can see this from comparing my memories of inferiority complex. That is the feeling that I can show "naked" and "natural" myself clearly. I guess this diary is also one of the evidence. How do you read? Anyway, returning to my home, I read Yoshio Kataoka's book completely to the end, and was moved very deeply. This is a great masterpiece.