BGM: ウルフルズ - 大阪ストラット
I worked early today. After that work, I went to the English conversation class. There, I showed the questions about autism I had gotten from a Russia woman to a teacher (TBH I thought I should translate it into Japanese completely, but I had no time). I asked her if I made any misunderstanding about reading them. She told me that my reading had no problems so I got comfortable. We started the lesson. Today we learned about the culture of foreign foods/dishes. About these two teachers' favorite meals, and about the foods we can have in this Shiso city (I can think of ramen and Nasi goreng even though this can be too orthodox. And also I remember that this city has a good Taiwanese restaurant). We enjoyed pleasant lesson time, and I went back to my group home. Although I was thinking that I wanted to read the rest of Dan SHAO's book, I couldn't do so. Maybe my inner battery was already almost ended. I spent my time doing nothing... C'est la vie.
Once in this journal I wrote about my dream/ambition. A dream of mine... it is the one which I want to play a role of connector between foreign countries and this Shiso city actually. TBH I am describing that as "a bridge person". I wish I could play a role of translator or interpreter to help the people who have troubles in international communications... I should learn more to make that dream come true. And, although this can sound too positive or too optimistic (or too "daydreaming"), I wish my autism could help that ambition come true too... "You've come a long way, baby!". Once I had adored Haruki Murakami because I had thought he was truly an international novelist and translator. He was a trustable intellectuals for me (Probably this had influenced me so I had tried to go to his university Waseda). Indeed, now I can see that I can never become a novelist. But it's OK. I still go "a long way".
I'm glad to write this. My server "World's End Pharmacy" on Discord has so many members now. I am trying to communicate with them in English, and also I am answering various question about Japanese... and I think this. In my private, offline life I have met various English or Japanese teachers. They bring me to the Japanese class in this town, and I am feeling that I am getting a lot of opportunities to learn languages. I remember this. Once the subject I had learned in university was American literature (I had even tried to learn/enjoy Bob Dylan's and Lou Reed's lyrics). That is also a cluster of language. About that, the writer was a truly a magician or player of language. Wittgenstein, the philosopher I adore, is also a person of language. Now I am trying to be a bridge person to play a role of "connector"... I might look at myself too much, but my life seems a great path or road. One, straight road. Then I want to go that straight road from now. I remember the Sting's song. "Let your soul be your pilot".
However... although I would gain lesser "likes" by writing this, I want to say that I am basically just an ordinary person with "ecchi" mind. But people come to me. When I was a teenager, people hated me terribly. Laughing me, and bullying me... and now I think that "the time is changing drastically". No, it must be "another dimension story" or "a parallel world". Just like one of the episodes of "Amazing Stories". Maybe someday a person would appear to me. He must look like Morpheus from the movie "Matrix". He would say cruelly "Why could you believe that everything was real? Everything was totally a dream because you must never be such an attractive or skillful person!". You must read this as a bullshit, but I think this honestly. At 40, I fell in unrequited love. After that, we have proceeded a project of job coaches. And I started learning English again. About the server on Discord. About the event with a Russian woman... How could I do if these were completely a dream or an illusion? Maybe I could be still a heavy drinker. I am afraid of that.