I worked late today. This morning, I started thinking about various things as a morning activity of mine as usual (opening a provoking book, "When Men Behave Badly" by David M. Buss), however, I couldn't concentrate on any pages. In such complicated cases which can make me think I am powerless, I just try to do the easiest thing for me to do at first, as firmly as possible. So, I changed my mind to write the free writing paper for the coming English conversation class.
However, the thing I could fill in on the paper was about a so-called (notorious?) "Men's Lib", which means how men can be pressed by the social pressure of being masculine enough to lead women. You would think this is absolute bullshit. At least, now this world is certainly getting so diverse that our sexuality has become so wide. However, as a heterosexual stray cat who tends to get attracted to the opposite sex, I wanted to write (no, I did vent) my complicated truth on paper.
Am I just too square to understand any sensitive emotional movements of women? Of course, like each autistic person can have one's unique/original character, every person has their character/dignity. I need to face each individual person in person. I've remembered that recently a friend gave me great advice that said I should get my mind softened enough to get liberated from the pressure that has made me sick. Yes, her intimate advice has made me literally "warmed", and at today's work, I even tried to let my mind loose enough to get released from the very tough pressure.
I remember... When I was a teenager, I couldn't get into guidebooks about feminism because at that period I could have never believed that I could have any worth to be loved (in a way, I was an enemy of female classmates). Therefore, RECENTLY I started learning the vast truth that I can be worthy of being loved by someone (not by all). Even though I thought of a possibility/doubt which said my writing could become too complicated for homework, I just wrote my truth to the teachers.
