BGM: Cornelius - Star Fruits Surf Rider
Today was a day for the hospital. I went to there and met my job coach. With my doctor, we talk about myself a lot. The doctor said an advice to me as "Anxiety affects as your insomnia so you should get fid of it from your workplace basically". The job coach taught to him about me a lot, and I thought that I should trust her fully. After that meeting, the job coach said to me that she had joined in the Facebook group a friend of me had as an admin. "We will meet the people we should meet", she said so, and I thought that I have to think thankful for the meetings with my job coach, and also various activities with a lot of friends. I am powerless so can do nothing alone. Connecting with others would give me a power, various lessons, and a certain self-confidence. Yes, I am basically a happy person.
At a LINE group which talks about philosophy a lot like a cafe, we talk about my autistic character a lot. An user said that "autism is a kind of gift", and it let me think a lot. I don't treat the words "gift" or "talent" a lot. Indeed, there are exactly some people who have great "talent", but we shouldn't judge people as that "the gifted skill of them". Even though they don't have any great skill, even though they are just ordinary citizens, they must be precious people who are to be respected. This feeling might come from the belief that I think myself as a ordinary citizen. Not thinking ourselves as great ones because of any great talent (for example, there must be a lot of people who speak English as well as I), but just accepting ourselves as their natural size. That is important.
After taking a nap, I couldn't feel comfortable in my room so tried to visit AEON and change my mood. I read Natsuki Ikezawa's "Nautical Chart and Logbook" again. Accidentally, because of the discussion in this book, I thought of a primal question. "Why do I read books?". To this, all I can answer is just "it is a habit since my childhood". Or "because there are various books in this world already"... I never think reading is a sublime activity. It is as well as learning English or watching movies as a way of spending time or learning. Not from the reason why reading is great, but the reason why I "naturally" read them... It might be the same as the reason why I live. Not thinking my life is meaningful, but living automatically as my body wants. Or, naturally I live... and that is precious primarily.
In the night, I joined another philosophical cafe group in LINE openchat. At there, an user recommended a video which Akira Asada, a Japanese philosopher analyzed Ryuichi Sakamoto's works. I enjoyed it, and was really impressed how sharp Asada could analyze the difficult works by Sakamoto. This can be done because Asada knows both classical music and pop music well. But I had a different opinion from him because Asada had said as "now the scene must be devastating". Although my knowledge about music must not be rich as Asada's, I think of some Japanese great musicians as Keigo Oyamada and Yoshihide Ohtomo. Their works can have a value to be global. We also have to think about how "city pop" has been praised from all over the world. Indeed, some of "J-POP" might be not opened to the world, therefore they satisfied with themselves as crap. But there are certainly those kinds of phenomenon I wrote above. It is too early to lose any hope I believe.
