TBH, I started reading some philosophical books when I was 40 (before that, I just read various literature). So I have to say that I am just an amateur in philosophy, but now I join a few philosophical groups/servers on Facebook and Discord, and try to share my own issues with other members.
As for me, philosophy is a truly personal action that enables me to clarify my thoughts (it gives them a certain "shape" to grasp firmly). But also, as you can see, I need to put those thoughts into words for sharing them with others, because if they just ended up in my mind then that could mean that they were just delusions.
This might sound too foolish... but thinking about this, I think about some notorious criminals in Japan who just had to struggle with their own, terrible delusions. If they could encounter various philosophical resources, then they would be able to live another life... Or, how about my case? It could become sinful if I couldn't meet Wittgenstein.
Although this must sound too controversial, at least for me, philosophy is a kind of compass that has always guided me through this life. It's like God or any higher one. TBH, I have never believed in God in this life but that's not because believe religions are clap, but as a personal impression I can't feel God's existence physically.
Once, before the doctors diagnosed me as an autistic guy, one of them said to me "Someday you can become happy", but at that time it sounded very irresponsible to me. Even after that, some people taught me someone (like God) has always been caring, but it is too abstract for me.
After meeting with current friends, as I have written at the beginning of this journal, I started reading the beginner's guidebooks of philosophy. Now, I feel like this. For me, philosophy starts within this small personal existence, and it can develop/spread in the outer world (public), and start true communications.
Like that, I can travel between this personal territory and the public world forward and backward... and that movement (maybe that's almost endless) can mean the fact that I am alive.
