I worked late today. This morning, I opened Spotify on my smartphone and listened to John Scofield's songs as usual. Then, suddenly I had this simple question. "Is this the music I want to listen to exactly at this moment? I chose to listen to John Scofield by my will, or it was chosen to be enjoyed by my smartphone's suggestion?" In other words, for me, that choice was so automatic.
Of course, that kind of automatic thinking is not strange. As for me, I might be too "brainy" person to live this life easily therefore I often have to stop moving forward actually, instead, start thinking about various things too deeply. But, although I can't see what you would think about this, my thoughts can't work/develop so flexibly because of this autistic character (I guess) that they often provide me stubborn conclusions such as "Death penalty must be prohibited", "We need to try to have dialogues with terrorists", and so on.
Although it has been too profound and complicated for me to understand enough, about this topic I remember Theodor Adorno's book "Minima Moralia". According to my understanding, one of his opinions might be (of course, this is just my opinion) this - "It is really what you want?". For example, on X, I tend to write my opinions such as "No Nukes" or "We must treat diversity as a precious one". But, I need to go back to this basic point. Is that my "bloody" truth from my experiences? Or is that from automatic thinking?
After thinking about this (as I have written above), I started reading Kumiko Sugano's "The Solitary Death Country [菅野久美子『孤独死大国』]". As you see, I am just an "amateur" reader who doesn't have any special, "professional" knowledge in my brain. So I can only tell my personal opinion from my experiences... Once I had been isolated from any relationships within schools and my region because of this strange character, I couldn't believe that the opinions that say connections among us can be precious. This book tells me how precious the connections within/among our society are... But of course, I need to read this book by throwing my bias away as hard as possible, and trying to have an innocent mind to enjoy this book steadily.
