Is everything actually changing/proceeding in my life? Today, at lunchtime, I asked this myself - because sometimes I feel almost every day has the same contents within itself. I wake up, do my work, read books, enjoy chatting in English, etc. What a plain, flat life! But yes, looking at my past days/footsteps, I can see I could have made some progress. Once, in my 20s, I was just a "naive" and "ignorant" boy who loved Haruki Murakami, Blur, and Hirokazu Koreeda's movies. But now, I read other interesting books and also Jazz and fusion music.
Some people praise me because they say that I've been making great efforts to learn English or to survive this life to make it better. Indeed, I want to say thank you for them, but from my honest feelings, I say that I am basically not such a diligent "hard worker" because all I do is things everybody might be able to do practically. I just write my thoughts on my memo pad to face the truths I have within my mind, and also vent out as this is on display.
Once, a famous Japanese TV personality/comedian Sanma Akashiya said in his TV program that he doesn't trust the concept of "efforts", because that concept must be overrated by us. This is an interesting point of view, and from my viewpoint/impression maybe I have never done any efforts in my life (at least, any "actual" efforts.) I have just done what I have liked to do, and those have been for me just to read books and also to learn English.
So, this serial activity of writing is not any result of effort by me. I just do this for my own pleasure like a kind of "bonsai [盆栽]" (a kind of Japanese traditional miniature work with a plant.) But, I guess it seems I might need to do different things to spend my time to add my life with different tastes (as you add different spices to your meals.) What can I do? Starting a game? But, as an addictive autistic person, I just need to be careful about getting into any games too much.
This evening, as a presenter I did talk about diversity by referring to Discord. But, sorry! There is not enough space to write it in detail...
