"Why do you work? If I were you, I would choose not to work anymore - Instead, I live an easy life with welfare." Once, when I was in my 30s, an elder person asked me this seriously. At that time, I could answer nothing properly - even now, I might not be able to do so. Asking about this, I have to go back to this basic point - What does my work afford besides basic payment?
My work has efficient, physical content - walking within my store, carrying heavy items from here to there. Once, when I was a heavy drinker, literally every day I wondered if I could quit this job. With a drunken head, I had dissed anything about my work (my co-workers, my bosses, and more) and "barked out loud" on the internet that I could become a charisma - although I had not done anything actually in my career. It was before I was diagnosed as an autistic one.
Yes, I was an uncool, banal young guy - a huge ambition in my head that stopped me from moving actually (I had been afraid of making silly mistakes so terribly, even though those mistakes must be so great and tender teachers for me.) TBH, at that time, I had adored becoming a pro writer - although I had never written anything.
At 40 (at the age I quit alcohol,) my job coach and I started a trial of collaboration about my job, which was a kind of chance for me to think about how/why I have worked. Of course, I work for money basically - but also, my work practically has built my lifestyle, and also my philosophy. This fact can be an answer to the question I have written above.
Also, I try to imagine - what would happen if I had chosen a hikikomori life? I won't say that lifestyle must be prohibited, but in my case, I would become a terrible daydreamer - who could even chase a certain huge, dreadful daydream without making any effort. I can see that there must be various ways to live better lives. Richer and stronger... But, I say that this life must have also precious content for me.
