BGM: P-MODEL - BIKE
Today I worked early. TBH an event I shouldn't write clearly had happened. I just say that it was a really serious one, therefore I had to work busy to try to solve that. My mind couldn't fit for today's work. I could talk to the facility manager, and he said I could "rely on" him completely. Thanks to him, I started my work but I even thought that "I have to give up?". But I started trying to do my work steadily, then the atmosphere of the workplace and the duties I got "suited" me. That made me up. I was thinking if I should hide that trouble of mine because it seemed not related with my work, and also it was not a "cool" one. Really foolish... but, at the lunch time the manager called me and said "I called this town's police", and also "The officer might come to your workplace". I also called to the police and talked with them. I thought it must be an emergency state and I have to be hurry up. Then, I couldn't be the one who could judge if I could meet and talk to the officer during my work at the workplace. I worried about that, but I confessed to the elder co-worker with saying "stay foolish" to myself.
The co-worker said, "Oh my gosh! I'm gonna say about that to the manager", and she told that to her. That manager said to me that "If the officers came to us, it would become too serious. You can go out from here to the police office during the work". So I called to the police via my phone during the work that "I got the permission from my boss. I'm gonna go to there from now". Then they said "No, you can come here after the work as the schedule says. That's OK". After the work, I went to the office and talked about the trouble a lot again. A long day ended... and I found that everything seemed to be ended with no serious troubles even though we went to the police office. I am really feeling thankful for the facility manager. I can't be too thankful for him about this... But, although his efforts have been so great, I have to say about this. TBH I should move faster to solve this problem. But this caused from that I couldn't have had a certain contact with him. Therefore, at first I sent a LINE message to solve this. I should call him directly. That kind of positivity could be the key for me to solve this.
And... Thinking about this, I also have to be thankful for that co-worked because she listened to me. The story of my trouble... TBH I had thought that she would say "You are an idiot" or "You must be lazy"... Of course, this is a joke. But I have to admit that I had a suspicious mind therefore it disturbed the flexible communication. I should obey the spirit of "stay foolish", and try to make any conflict with anyone else. I have to be ashamed about this. But the autism disturbs the judgement of mine to understand what should be the "prober" situation to confess that kind of problem. I should "digest" the trouble I had with saying as "It is not related with our work" and "I don't wanna disturb anyone else"? I should share about that more actively to make a great relationship with them? I still can't see. But in this case even the police appeared actually. That would "disturb" my workplace's work. I can see that (I have that kind of "reading" or "understanding" abilities even though I am autistic). Therefore I confessed that. Today's trouble gave me an important lesson, so even though it must not cheap I felt that it must be a great opportunity.
Oh my gosh... I got really "expired" because of that trouble. Although I had to attend a ZOOM meeting about English conversation, but I couldn't (I'm REALLY sorry). I slept a lot. I started checking how many steps every day I am making by the app "エモパー", and it said to me that today I walked almost 20,000 steps (just today only). Oh, that's really so many... I couldn't write any poem. "Stay foolish"... I thought I should try to make some "practice" to throw myself to other person's chest like sumo wrestlers' training. Open my mind, and knock someone's door... I had tried to be nice, therefore the troubles like today's could happen. But, I won't say that "I should make enemies" or "I should try to be hated" because I don't want to make enemies wastefully. It can be a childish behavior. I just try to be myself naturally. And I think "the life of autistic people must be unproductive" and "terrible". I remember... I said to the officer that "I am an autistic person and living in a group home". I have to admit that I am a person within a minority group...
