BGM: The Vaselines - Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam
You can find numerous groups/communities on the internet, or in this real world now. In my case, I have been joining various groups actually to satisfy my interests and curiosity. For example, I belong to the "danshu" meeting to keep on quitting alcohol, and also the meeting about autism. Besides them, I am a member of various groups for talking about literature, philosophy, and politics on Discord (also, so-called chitchat-oriented groups to liberate my mind).
In a way, I can describe that within me there must be those divided identities such as an alcoholic, an autistic guy, and a bookworm who loves Haruki Murakami. Maybe I can be a left-winger and also an old-fashioned music freak... Thinking about this, I find a certain hyperactive character that always keeps on moving from here to there as my inner voice whispers. Maybe some pure/diligent people would say my attitude must be so wishy-washy that I should learn a certain specific thing only, but I say this is me, even though I can never become a great specialist.
Not only that kind of cultural identity, but also personality... My character has often been described by others as a diligent "disciple", or just a pervert. I had worried about that cruel description by others once, therefore trying to reflect on my behavior in detail so carefully, and sensitively that I could become almost paranoid (sorry, this is just a metaphor. Please don't worry!).
I say that now I could have stood on the stage of eclecticism. In other words, I have been looking for a truly eclectic position (especially about politics). Therefore, I try to enjoy Haruki's works and Walter Benjamin's essays as much as Wittgenstein's masterpieces.
After today's work, with Leonard Cohen's songs, I read the rest of Charles Bukowski's book "Ham On Rye" until that's halfway through. As I have written, Bukowski's writing has a kind of warmth that gives me a certain comfort (but it also certainly has "poisonous" essences that make me addicted), and I ask this. Has Charles Bukowski been a pop star or just an old-fashioned paperback writer? Maybe Bukowski would say "Bullshit, bastard!"
