BGM: The Police - Synchronicity II
Today I worked early. I read Yoshio Kataoka's essays again. He tells us that we should learn proper basis of English for learning it. We tend to think that we can learn English "automatically" without any efforts. You shouldn't try anymore, but just get soaked into English then it "naturally" becomes a part of yourself... Kataoka, however, says it's wrong. He says that languages "artificially" become a part of ourselves. In other words, languages become like that by the efforts we make day by day steadily. I agree with him. As I write this, I believe that we shouldn't rely on our talents to learn English. We just have to learn step by step. For example, memorizing words and making sentences actually. They would bring us a certain progress. At least, I am doing those things to improve my English... Even though I have learned English literature at a university, I still make mistakes in English. So this wouldn't move your mind.
By the way, I am really living a selfish life. I am never trying to become a chief or a big boss. I don't work so hard to become a good business person. I am living as a stray cat and looking for my favorite or interested things. Partly I live as an employee who works for my company to get money, and partly I am digging my own interest and walking my way. It might be unserious from other people's eyes. Egoistic? But I want to say that kind of lifestyle must be accepted from the spirit of diversity. Since I was a kid, I couldn't join any groups my classmates made. I just liked looking for what I liked. It's the same even now. Learning English and enjoying communication. From them, learning a lot and facing various people's several opinions. That's my life, my way. It might be lucky that I could have found that "my way". Now, even though I am not completely stress-free, I am living really freely.
A person who I had met on clubhouse recommended me to join in her online salon via Facebook. It will be held tomorrow. It's the one about English and seems really an international one with foreign members. English always helps me like that... Recently I started joining various groups on clubhouse and trying to make practice of speaking and listening. Sharing funny stories, and also learning the global news. Not trying to become a comedian and share "super cool" topic. You should be yourself and that's enough. Don't apologize your "poor" English. Me, my English is terrible. It's really Japanese broken one... In addition to that online salon, I'm going to attend the English conversation class from next month. I can feel that I am enjoying various activities about English. I should use reminder function of my smartphone for not to forget them.
I repeat this again and again... I have never studied abroad. Even though I was a college student, I wrote my papers in Japanese. And also, it is really recent that I started learning English seriously like now. Since then, I just had disappointed about my life. I had been soaked into alcohol losing any hope in my life... But I met my teacher, and she told me that there is the English conversation class Shiso International Association holds. Indeed, I worried to go there because my English is really "too Japanese", but I decided to go there. After that, I got various connections from that... that told me that you can begin your life from anywhere. You can begin yours from any stage. Now, through learning English, I have been enjoying communications and connections. I am going to entering my 50s and 60s. I'm certainly getting old. I see my face on mirrors. It tells me my face gets aged bit by bit. But, I feel that I am getting younger than the past days. I am far from any "mature" people who have peace of mind.