BGM: Motoharu Sano - Complication Shakedown
This morning, during my work, I wondered about this. Are my journals easy to read/understand by others? About this, I'm still worried that they can become too difficult. As a cliché, we often say that brilliant people can explain difficult things with really easy, clear words. Yes, I agree with this... But then, the fact that my writing can sometimes become too difficult might show that I am not smart.
Indeed, I have never been such a smart guy. At least, looking back to my past days, I find that I've been influenced by not great/classical philosophical canons such as Kunt and Hegel, but by various pop-cultural crystals like Blur's "Parklife" and a favorite lovely manga "Azumanga Daioh". Therefore, the pieces of my idea can never become difficult for readers (including myself. Because I am always the first reader of my writing). At least, I believe so.
However, I accept that various pieces of my inner idea can often become too abstract to express... at least, when I was a teenager almost all people (even teachers) said that my precious, honest truths were just nonsense for them. They even accepted them as crap or just a kind of silly topic to laugh at. Yes, that means I had to give up trying to have diligent communication with others. So, finally, I gave up and escaped into books.
Through that lonesome period... I started thinking that our communication must be a kind of zero-sum game, which means that it can divide us into absolute winners and losers. A kind of survival game... Oh, bullshit! But I was very serious at that period (probably... this paranoiac bias could come from my autistic mind).
Now, I can feel that communication must be a kind of funny, intelligent game for us to enjoy. But, that can come for me because there must be a certain trust between us. In other words, we can have certain common codes... But, even now, I sometimes doubt if those codes can be true or false... So, this habit of literally strict (almost endless) questioning might make my writing too complicated for you to follow...
