BGM: Masayoshi Takanaka - Breezin'
I had a day off. This morning, on Discord I enjoyed chatting about Haruki Murakami. Then a user told me I was an interesting person. Interesting... Maybe so, I guess. Always at that time, I say "I am just an old dude with a dirty mind." This is a FACT about me. You can find such a perverted guy everywhere.
Today I enjoyed the meeting about autism on Zoom. I did a presentation of the memories of the teachers I have met. At that meeting, another member suggested that it could be better to use Discord instead of that Zoom. As a Discord user, I shared my knowledge about it with others, and soon we started discussing it. After that meeting, on the app LINE, we kept on discussing.
After that, I went to the library to borrow a book by a Japanese conservative author, Tsuneari Fukuda [福田恆存『人間の生き方、ものの考え方』]. In that book, Fukuda says that our language is a kind of tool or thing itself, but within which there must be a spiritual essence. Although it must sound a little bit spiritual, or maybe too occultic, I want to support this point of view. I can't see the reason why but I might believe in the power of language, as a power of amulet. Fukuda also writes how we avoid of thinking the meanings of various concepts as "peace" or "lives", even though they must be precious to us. This critical opinion reminds me of philosophical trials I have read by now.
Today was not a fine day... maybe that was why I had not been able to stay positive. This evening, with Cigarettes After Sex's music, I tried to think about Mishima's journals [三島由紀夫『戦後日記』] and the Fukuda's lecture I have written above. Recently, I tend to recall my past days and also remember how I have been a Japanese (autistic) guy. With this black hair, black eyes, and Japanese language, I have lived until now...
Once I had hated these essences of mine certainly, and even adored various "radical" pop culture that could destroy our heritages. Just like punk rock or grunge destroyed various old-fashioned, boring cliché of rock music... But now, I want to stay dutiful to my or our legends everywhere (as Fukuda says, within the culture of having rice in Japanese society can be a piece of Japanese cultural heritage).
