As I have written in these journals, I usually use a tool Discord to improve my English skills. Discord has so many groups (we call them "servers"). From serious ones to loose ones... For example, I belong to some so-called "language exchange" servers to practice my English by posting these journals and chatting in English. Also, I belong to some academic servers to enjoy discussing literature and philosophy. Also, for some obscene servers I should keep details hidden in public.
Reflecting on these facts, I can see that I have consisted of many essences. I have a certain interest in learning English to make many friends, and also want to learn and discuss world politics from Japanese domestic issues to Gaza (but as you must know clearly, I am just an innocent/ignorant guy). In addition, my interest/curiosity certainly wants to "eat" serious literature topics, and also feel deadly thirsty for lewd things. Oh, how "multiple" I am!
I am living as wearing this "multiple" personality 24 hours, 365 (or 366) days a year. Therefore, even though I have to learn how I can be too stupid/ignorant to understand my identities completely by myself alone (yes, I have to learn myself with my friends' intimate help...), I have to face how I have been literary "dirty" or "black/noir", but some people (yes, "plenty of" friends) show me their honest attitudes as precious friends.
Especially, the more I show how weak I have been by telling/confessing my silly/childish failures in public (exactly, for example in these journals), the more many readers show how interested they are. When I was young, I had to struggle very hard to attract a lot of readers actually, therefore made silly efforts but they ended in vain. So, now I see that I should have done this... I just could have tried to be myself.
After today's work, I went back to my group home. After having dinner, I attended a Zoom meeting with my friends. Today's topic was about a Muslim mosque in Kobe. Even now, my mind tends to imagine that Muslim people can be "absolutely mysterious strangers" to us, therefore a certain silly (even too harmful) bias has been within me. So, these kinds of opportunities are very precious. I could have enjoyed this meeting.
