Looking at my days which must contain plenty of opportunities to practice English by chatting, writing, or discussing in bilingual, I asked myself this: Why can I show my English in public? Does it mean I have no hesitation or shyness in showing my poor English? Am I so an extrovert guy, or an active person? Thinking of writing my memoir, because it must contain my English activities such as writing bilingual journals, joining English meetings, and enjoying communication with friends worldwide, I have to return to these questions in the end.
As I have already written in these journals, I had been bullied by classmates in school terribly (definitely because of this autistic character), so once I tried to close my mind from this world completely, like to avoid any infection by virus (although the classmates must not be the sort of virus, I want to write such a silly and brutal "rant" here). Now I can see it must have been a silly trial because I shouldn't live with any isolated/solitary mind from the outer world. However, when I was hated/bullied, that "separation" was needed to me to save my delicate territory enough not to get invaded.
However, except for that traumatic event basically (this must be an embarrassing thing to confess) I am simply a very talkative and hyperactive person, therefore I tend to work so busily as a honey bee. Certainly... and also, within me there must be a huge emotional engine which can be called curiosity. That brings me this very bookworm attitude in my life (today I've read one more thin book by Genichiro Takahashi), and also lets me ask numerous little questions such as "How to say 'onedari governor' in English?"
As a sort of Japanese cliché, a traditional expression... we tend to describe autumn as "the autumn for reading". With folk-rock-oriented music such as The Byrds or Simon and Garfunkel, after finishing today's work I enjoyed reading. Although I had wanted to write my memoir (and also, I had to prepare for the coming Sunday's offline meeting), I couldn't find the motivation to do so and finally ran away from that. Oh my! What kinds of books will suit this autumn? At least, to remember the very terrible but unforgettable "Memorial Day" (as you can tell, I'm talking about the 11th), I might have to choose that kind of book... such as W.G. Sebald's very delicate memoirs.
