BGM: Rhymester - フラッシュバック、夏。
Although it is not a strange event for me in daily life, this morning I had to face a huge pressure toward this day's work, therefore before that I enjoyed various techno/disco music such as Denki Groove's "Flashback Disco". Then, their repetitive/obsessive beats certainly made me move/drive forward... as if I could feel that I got hypnotized, so I worked well finally.
At today's lunchtime, I thought of sharing my essays about books (not book reviews, but various episodes in my life with books) with my friends on Discord. I can't see why, but maybe I have been influenced by Ryuichi Sakamoto's bookish essays. I will be 49, and start thinking about what I will be able to share and leave with the later generations, even though I must not have been a diligent/dutiful reader. But why? Why do I think of this kind of idea?
TBH this afternoon I shared this idea with my LINE friends a little in advance, and then a person said to me that he had read my short reviews on the app bookmeter well. Oh my... Of course, it must have been a huge pleasure for me, and after reading that comment I started thinking about why I am writing various things actively/talkatively to my friends once again, even though recently I started learning how to live this strange/funny autistic life as calmly/quietly as I can.
As I have written in these journals, almost all the people around me (especially, fucking classmates and teachers) tried to pull my leg in the daily conversations, therefore I couldn't have built any trust/faith in them at all. Even now, somewhere in my mind, there could still have remained a doubt toward my friends. People can make silly lies, but books won't do so... Of course, if I believed this idea then I would have to ask this. "Why can't they make lies for me?"
This evening I attended a Zoom meeting with my friends to enjoy watching the scenery of Intergaraxy. An English teacher of mine once taught me that modern people tend to accept a huge amount of information (the information we accept in a day could be almost the same amount as a person used to accept per their whole life 1000 years ago). Of course, I can't judge if this can be true or not. But I accept this as a truth. Therefore, this watching event has been precious for me. It has taught me that there must be huge things beyond my recognition by this tiny brain of mine.
