![リボルバー (スペシャル・エディション(スーパー･デラックス))(4枚組+7インチ・シングル)(ブックレット付)[Analog]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41ULkhOoxEL._SL500_.jpg "リボルバー (スペシャル・エディション(スーパー･デラックス))(4枚組+7インチ・シングル)(ブックレット付)[Analog]")
Next Thursday I'm going to do a presentation to my friends on Zoom, so this morning I thought about that. Some ideas came to my mind. For example, I will share how I have been learning English by using Discord, WhatsApp, LINE, and other social media... Thinking about this idea, I remembered this. A famous English "master" said to us that we need to build a firm, strong purpose for learning English to keep a certain motivation because that enables us doing learn English.
As for me, I have never had any firm purpose or "goal" in my future for learning English... Certainly, now I have a tiny dream within my mind. That's to become a bridge person in this city who connects between this city and the world, or my friends and the outside people. But maybe because my autistic brain can let me forget everything too easily/smoothly, I can't keep any firm/steady ambition in my mind and go through various troubles.
Looking back at my past days... Especially, "before" the internet era I couldn't imagine this situation would come to us. I could never predict that I would be diagnosed as an autistic person, and also I would start writing something not in Japanese, but in English (even though somewhere in my mind I had adored a kind of "bilingual" writers such as Nabokov, Samuel Beckett, and Yoko Tawada). Oh, my life is really "out of tune", having messed up content.
When I was a college student, "Windows 95" was released and the internet era started. After that, although I could have never imagined this, I started having my smartphone and various social media accounts. In that era, how could I imagine this situation? Oh, life is very, very strange for me. All the things I can do are just to do what I can. Step by step...
Today, my job coach and I had a meeting at my workplace. We talked a lot about my work. Oh, time flies so fast... When we met for the first time, I could never predict my life would become like this. What if I couldn't meet her at a cafe on that day? As I have written in these journals, this job coach is the one who recommended I should write in English - Remembering that, I face a miracle/wonder in this world.
