BGM: The Beatles - The Fool On The Hill
Today was a day off. This morning I went to the mountain to think about various things. Following the opinion "Not how the world is, is the mystical, but that it is" by Ludwig Wittgenstein, I learn the fact that this mountain does never "cheat" me. It tells me how rich and grateful this vast world can be with its steady style. I can have learned that how this society which the human being besides me consist is. It is really small. And also, it is really mystical that there is a world beyond that society. That "paints" our reality so colorful. As I always write, once I couldn't understand my parents who had chose this rural life because I adored a sophisticated, cool Tokyo life seriously (as a correct way, I might have to write that I never "tried to" understand them). Now I won't say that I never adore that Tokyo life at all, but I am exactly feeling that this rural life is not bad (although I have to accept some troubles I have to experience because of its "remoteness"). Nature doesn't tell a lie, or nature always loves me (or us). At least, now I love this city. I even feel a kind of regionalism. On the mountain, I enjoyed The Beatles' "The Fool On The Hill".
This song is really profound song for me. An idiot on a hill, who might not be so smart(therefore people don't respect him), is looking at the world with his clear, keen eyes... I love this song. Me, I think/accept myself as that kind of foolish person. I am fool, "therefore" can look all over the world, and find something important/essential from there... Now is a great internet era. This planet is certainly becoming a single "global village" so rapidly/quickly. Suddenly I remembered Hana Kimura, a victim by an incident from online slander. Maybe because the 23rd of May is her anniversary of passed away. She had ended her life because of that online slander (but I need to learn about this sad/terrible incident more because I am really an idiot. I never want this would happen again). I thought that this internet is not a full of hope, or revolutionary things... As "the fool from Shiso city", I have been connected via this internet to the world. I am never a saint or wise person, but I try to face my ignorance, and also learn things every day. I can't see if it could work successfully. How do you think? :-)
I read an essay by Kumiko Torikai. As an interpreter, she had worked at various fields. Through that career, she tries to ask that how we can meet our "callings" through the lives. Thinking about MY calling, I have to conclude that this can be different from each other. Every person has their way to meet their calling. It can be different... some people can find it in their teenage days, but other people can't find even though they pass their midlife yet. TBH I can't think that my current job is a calling even though I have worked over 20 years. Indeed, it has "fit" my body, or my personality. If I could get rid of any limits in my mind and say what I want freely, then I would say that my calling is exactly to write something like this. I exactly like writing, therefore I can feel tranquility by that. I can feel the "peace of mind"... Although it never provides me any money, and it would never do forever. But, in this free and peaceful Japan, I can write anything freely from "the fool from Shiso city". That is also a result of happiness.
I thought when was the first moment I could have felt the "success" of the conversation in English. The process that I started learning English seriously like this... As I always write, I started learning English at my 13. I even learned English literature at the university, but I want to say that it was far from any successes. I never had any friends I could trust at that period, and just read textbooks quietly. So no successful moments in English must come. In other words, you should experience communication with others in English with courage because it will (must?) bring you a certain happy success. Me, even now I have enjoying a lot of successes of communication in English every day. At 40, I started quitting alcohol. I certainly started my life from that age. On MeWe, an Indonesian friend praised me as "Oh, your English is cool"... I can never forget it. And in my real life, another friend said my English is excellent. That started the fire in me. I do learn English as "that fool from Shiso city". As The Beatles' sings, "And the eyes in his head see the world spinning around”.