BGM: Aztec Camera - Good Morning Britain
Today I worked early. This morning I sent a message to the group organized with my friends on LINE. About the midlife crisis, and the English conversation class I had applied for... then, a friend answered me as "it sounds really wonderful". Reading that, I thought "this kind of empathy must be a key/meaning of our communication". So I wrote this notice to that LINE group. As a clear fact/truth, I can never live alone by myself. Of course, if I thought there could be "complete" understanding each other, then it would make me sick. Complete communication must be an illusion. But, "therefore" we shouldn't give up understanding each other steadily. And also, stepping closer to others will ease ourselves and also be able to see how other people watch/treat the things. Especially, now is the era of "separation" which disturbs understanding others. We can understand only narrow reality from each other's stage/stance (this is the meaning of the 'post-truth' I guess). "Empathy" is, therefore, a great concept. I learned that.
I wrote about attending the English conversation class on Discord, then a friend said to me as "pretty cool" and "I envy you". Is that really? These comments gave me something weird in my stomach because I had been bullied a lot... but by looking back at my past days, I can remember that I WAS THE PERSON who envies the people who were fluent in English. "why is my English so poor? I envy them", and "I am just a country uncool dude so can speak Japanese only. This world is unfair"... From these experiences, about English all we can do is just "creating/proceeding our way(s) step by step". We can never become fluent in English instantly/immediately, so it must be important for us to keep on learning it every day step by step, and using it at the real or on the internet to learn by our bodies actually. Now is a great era. For example, accessing LINE we can touch/join into the chat groups by a lot of English learners are gathering. At there, we can practice freely.
But... I can also understand that some people won't join in there or do practice actually even if I tell them "there are a lot of groups of English on LINE", or "you can use/adopt those kind of optional ways to learn English on the internet". And I never think that it is because they are just idle/lazy. I never hurt them (don't accept this opinion as harmful to them, please). We have learned English as one of the subjects in schools. so through the process of experiencing lectures and exams we sometimes touch the "walls" or "limits" of our understanding. In other words, we sometimes get used to get/accept the messages through education as "your English is not enough" or "your English is not fluent because you have not achieved completely to get the full score of exams". And, I WAS THE PERSON who had been suffered from that. Yes, a sense of imperfection... so I can see how it can be difficult to see/understand that mental weight and set yourself free from it. But all I can say is just "you should do so", "be positive", "you can do it from the greeting, 'hello', and that's great".
Trying to start to use English to be perfect means, for me, a kind of "changing ourselves" beyond "learning" or "studying". In addition to, it can be a "revolution" or "gamble" for us to change ourselves completely. Then, being afraid of them never mean you are a coward or a naive person. But, from an experienced person (indeed, my progressing/achievement must be really tiny), I just say "Let's begin!". Through the way of learning, I have started thinking that "Don't afraid of making errors!". Everybody makes mistakes. Me, one day I wrote "a food court" as "a food coat"... but, using English like that we can get used to the system of English, and can get used to understand the rule of English. A certain quiet change would happen in yourself. Me, I have enjoyed that kind of change. How about staring your English life with saying "Hello" and "How are you doing?". I believe it will start giving/adding new things to your life.