跳舞猫日録

Life goes on brah!

2023/07/10 English

BGM: The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

Today might be a "fatal day" in my life... Indeed, I'm using too big expression to describe this. But I don't want to hide this feeling inside myself. The day like today can happen in my/our life... It was raining a little so I went to the food court in AEON near my workplace by foot. There, I spent my time with doing nothing as usual. I couldn't do anything as the homework of my English conversation class, the paper I will show at the meeting about my contract of my job, the paper for the presentation I will do on the next Thursday... Suddenly I remembered the book "Two Billion Light Years of Solitude" by Shuntaro Tanikawa, and thought of writing my poem as the homework to show the teachers. At least, it will delete one of my task and also make my passion/activity calm again. I started writing my poem. I wanted to use rhymes seriously, and obey the rule of sonnet (the poems which have 14 lines). Caring the rhythm of that poem... I did write it like Jackson Pollock's action painting. Spreading my words honestly on a sheet of paper.

Ah, at last! The Muse came to me with her graceful smiling. The day came finally... "One day, a person starts writing all of a sudden" or "One day, he/she starts thinking writing to be a writer". For example, Haruki Murakami started writing his novel because he got an inspiration suddenly from somewhere when he had enjoyed watching a baseball game in his 29. That was the beginning of walking/traveling on the road to become a writer until now... Of course, this is a "too cool" story/episode. At least, it must be impossible to imagine that he had not done anything until the day he accepted the inspiration. He must do reading. Yes, he must enjoy Raymond Chandler, Scott Fitzgerald, Richard Brautigan, and Kurt Vonnegut... he must try to learn from them to make their spirits/groove as his. "Now" I can have this idea, but when I read that legend of Haruki Murakami, I was just an idiot so thought "Someday the inspiration can come to me like him, and that will make me write my own novel". Yes, I waited for the inspiration for a long time. I waited for the day I would/could start writing my own "Hear The Wind Sing". Someday... and I drank a lot. And days passed.

Today I shared the poem "A Bridge From A Fridge" to my friends. Soon, Victoria from Russia commented to me. "Share it with your signature!". It was really grateful for me so I wrote my signature "throbbing disco cat", and posted it on Facebook, Discord, MeWe. Indeed, it didn't become any "buzzed" one. But so what? I found that using/enjoying rhymes can be really difficult/profound. It also gives me a certain pleasure. It is interesting so I want to keep on writing my sonnets, free verse poems, and proses more. Then I want to be maniac because, as you know, I'm really autistic. I want to read Shuntaro Tanikawa more, and also learn from my favorite poets/novelists who influenced me again. Haruki Murakami, Genichiro Takahashi, Hiroshi Osada, and Ryuichi Tamura. I also want to learn a lot from female poets/novelists. My dreams/hopes increase on and on... Today was really the "genesis" day for me.

And also I remembered what had brought me to now/here. I had even learned English literature, but at that time I couldn't have imagined that I would write MY OWN sonnet like this. After that period, through the heavy drinker era, I started writing short articles by the event I experienced. A friend praised my English, and it brought/made me to decide to write in English... and I started this English journal too. And now, I start writing my sonnet. "Heaven helps those who help themselves", we say so. Can I say that I have helped me? Every day I have been trying living this life with writing a journal, reading books, meeting people, working... these events, the footsteps of my past life, would bring today's explosion of writing a sonnet. Of course, it might be just a lucky strike. But I don't want to deny the pleasure I have got by writing my first poem. Even though I stop my poem creation, today's memory/experience would last in myself. It was a really memorable/grate day for me (and I could meet my old friend again on Facebook. I want to write this not to forget completely). What would be the next poem's theme? God only knows...

"A Bridge From A Fridge"

It seems my mind is like a fridge
At last, I've found a dream of becoming a bridge
A bridge, where people can encounter each other
They might call them as a sister or a brother

Yes, that must be too enormous to carry
I can see, and TBH I feel really scary
But why? It must bring me the life like a party
All I need is just a certain will to start it

Today, lunchtime, I wanna have a lunchbox of sushi
Will I be able to say as a rockstar, "Can't you see"?
Or I'm just trying sewing seeds into the sea?

This is the first sonnet poem I've done in my life.
I wrote this one by myself. I'm now actually alive!
Yes, this one is also coming from my mind's archive