BGM: R.E.M. "Sweetness Follows"
Today was the day of the meeting about autism we have once a month. Each member started their ZOOM and got together online. I have attended these meetings for about 5 years. In other words, I have spent my 40s in these meetings. If I could grow up a little, then it could be because of the people's kindness to me. At this time, I talked about the experience I had at my workplace. How should I use the system of job coaches... but I found I had misunderstood the system so I felt embarrassed. But it caused me to understand correct knowledge, so it's good as a result.
After that, I went to Aeon. But I think I would do nothing special there. At that Aeon, I started reading J. D. Salinger's "Nine Stories". I can remember that it was the beginning of my 40s when I started recording my reading on the site bookmeter. I also can remember that the beginning of my 40s was the time I started stopping drinking alcohol, and started watching movies. So I can say that was the beginning of this life exactly. I guess that the 40s must be the age we can do the activities we started in our 20s or 30s energetically, but I must say that I was just a 'slow starter'. Yes, this kind of life can be there.
I can't remember how many times I have read "Nine Stories". TBH I like these short stories more than "The Catcher In The Rye". At this reading, I thought that this one is really a bloody and uneasy book. When I was young, I was attracted to "A Perfect Day for Bananafish". But this reading recalls the echo of something unlucky because of the miscommunicated conversations. In the last story "Teddy", the 'death' the boy as the main character talks about makes us depressed. It might be the same as the 'death' Yasunari Kawabata or Haruki Murakami describes (it must be from the selfish and rough understanding). Of course, even if everyone might be used to writing 'death' as an unhappy event.
Probably because of that reading, I suddenly thought that "I will die one day". So I started listening to R.E.M.'s "Automatic For The People" even if I understood it must be too early to do practice for my death. When I was a teenager and listened to this album for the first time, I was very naughty and lived in Tokyo even if I didn't understand how life can be enough. Of course, at that age, I had never thought my future could be like this. Always there was no 'brilliant future'. I just snaked my way as it was in a white night, and after that, I found how I had run and made my way. I have never expected my activities I started my 40s can be like this. But that's life!
