A native speaker pointed out my mistakes in writing in English. Frankly, it's difficult to accept the fact that I made mistakes. But I don't want to say that it would be OK if I could be understood. It's a so-called 'so-what attitude'. A Japanese wrestler Antonio Inoki says that 'the person who can't accept its weakness can't be stronger'. Following Inoki's opinion, I have to say to myself that I can make mistakes because I am not a native speaker. I have to learn more and more... I have to be modest. Even Audrey Tang can make mistakes... a friend of mine said so.
I think about the relationship between my head and my body. Sometimes I try to grip something by my head roughly. Before the work, or before I move my body, I think about how the content of the work would be and feel fear. Or I go into nihilism as "This work has no meaning" or "Everybody can do this work". But if I move my body and start working, this nihilism goes away. The fear also goes away and I can work as usual. I have to work with sweat and shame. I have to move my body actually. My work has taught me that kind of lesson.
Probably Nietzsche taught me that lesson. Moving my body and letting myself into the will or the power which floods from me. Of course, Nietzsche's philosophy is very difficult so I can't say I've understood it at all. But I might have understood his unique idea of 'eternal recurrence' by my body. Definitely, I 'use' various ideas of philosophy in my life even if I read philosophical books. I can never be a specialist or a professor. As an amateur, I 'use' the ideas of Nietzsche and Wittgenstein for questioning my enigmas. Yes, I just 'use' philosophy with my ego, not for learning purely.
The day of the next election is coming. I see some tweets about that election on Twitter. I am afraid of becoming too cynical to face everything (it's not about the election itself but about everything). I can see that it might be important that watch something from a certain distance and keep my mood calm. But I believe that acting something with my will with having a certain responsibility to it is also important while looking at things with a cool attitude. I will go to the election and vote for someone with a certain responsibility. Instead of running away from reality by saying "a waste of time" or "nothing's gonna change". I want to keep committing this real.