Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/02/14 English

Today I worked late. In the afternoon I read "Collected words of Shunsuke Tsurumi 2" a little. I thought about the power of being ordinary. Ordinary or orthodox... once I wanted to be a special, or 'chosen' one like Osamu Dazai said. Someone who is full of talent, therefore, has to feel difficulty for living. I have felt that difficulty since I was a child so I started having that kind of wish for being 'superman', even though I have not learned Nietzsche's philosophy. Now I adore the power of staying ordinary. Being ordinary and universal. The power of staying as the person themselves.

Staying someone without any decoration... from Shunsuke Tsurumi's words, I learn that kind of staying themselves naturally and not fighting against nature. Staying here as I am, that is enough... that natural attitude attracted me. And also, Shunsuke Tsurumi doesn't play with words and concepts. I sometimes do word plays and use concepts as a collection of tools to make something fashionable and nonsense. Tsurumi says we should stop playing with concepts. That playing with concepts and words themselves can become a violent act. I have sympathy for it.

Once I thought I had to defeat someone at any debate or discussion. Beating someone by my opinions... so I used to fight someone if I started the debate and did rude behavior. It lets me lose the purpose of doing discussion. What is important at discussion is to try to understand each other and look for the truth, but I cared about my pride too much and just try to defeat others selfishly. That might come from the fact that I had not had any pride in myself so I have a certain time to overcome it. Even now I might have not been able to overcome it.

I find that I can let myself into Tsurumi's thoughts because he makes his thoughts by his senses of body or inspiration. Sometimes I want to learn some thoughts with a good cost performance (For example, using podcasts or YouTube). But the opinions I have learned from there should become a part of mine with swallowing it by my instinct. In other words, I am looking for a sense of a certain physical experience. It might become better if I try to think with Tatsuru Uchida's thoughts. What should I read in Tatsuru Uchida's books?