This morning, I went to a hospital in this town to have my ears checked at its ENT. I'm still feeling slightly dizzy, and the hospital where I had my wisdom tooth pulled recommended me going to have check them at this hospital. Also, this hospital has the doctor who has been caring for my mental condition, therefore this time's result could be delivered to him. As a patient, I appreciate this "vertical" connection within this hospital.
After the check, the doctor said to me that my dizziness could never come from my ears, so it could be from a sort of so-called "summer fatigue" or terrible stress in my mind. After the payment, I went back to my room and shared this result with the staff of my group home. Now, all I can do is just wish this dizziness fade away soon (this time, I haven't gotten any new medicines from that doctor).
However, this kind of unfortunate event certainly taught me a lesson, which has been this (even though you would feel strangely by this comment). Now, with the firm association with my group home, my job coach, and my friends (anywhere in this world), I can "react" as calmly as I can. I can be proud of how I have reacted. This must come from the experiences I have gotten from the activities I have enjoyed by attending Zoom meetings and also trying to attend outside activities.
This afternoon, I stayed in my room with the book "From Oslo To Iraq" by Edward W. Said, even though only about ten pages was all I could have read today. Reading this, I started thinking about my identity which has been always supporting my mentality. As I have written in these journals, I am a Japanese autistic guy.
Looking back, I could have accepted the fact of "being Japanese" without any trouble. On the other hand, for me to accept the fact that I am autistic was (or even still is now?) "ultra-difficult". Then, how can I have been accepting that "ultra-difficult" issue throughout my life? The books by E. Said I had borrowed must give me various precious treasure-like clues on how to stay pessimistic in my thoughts, and also act optimistic in my outside activities I believe.
