BGM: U2 - Numb
A very gloomy, rainy day off for me. After the meeting with my doctor at the hospital, I came back to this room. Although I had not felt something wrong with my health, my mind didn't have any motivation to do something productive, so I decided to lay my body on the bed with do nothing special during the whole daytime (therefore, I had not written any memo in English).
On Discord, a friend of mine started an interesting trial. He would start a conversation/discussion as a bookclub from next month, and the book we would enjoy is Michael Sandel's "The Tyranny of Merit" [マイケル・サンデル『実力も運のうち』]. Therefore, this afternoon I thought about that book mainly. TBH, even though Sandel's opinions certainly have had huge influence in this country, I have never read any of his books so this must be a good opportunity for me.
Now and here... this life history and this current situation of mine. For example, I have been from a huge university called Waseda, and now am an employee of a company. These things are basically "given" to me from somewhere luckily (maybe, from God or a higher thing). That Sandel's book tells me certainly about how our lives can have been full of those miraculous opportunities, even though we tend to try various efforts to realize our purposes from those miracles (I'm remembering the quote/motto which tells us to make "lemonades" from lemons).
Looking back at my footsteps... I find that there must have been many miracles. At first, I was born in this world (the first miracle which I have never wished for at all. Especially, why could I wish I could have this autistic brain?). My parents, my classmates, the university I went, and the company I am working for. Those have certainly come from "chances" or "luck"... I need to think about this issue for having a thanksgiving to the world, and also this "frame" in me.
This evening, I still lay my body on the bed with Nao Sawada's book, which is a biography of Fernando Pessoa [澤田直『フェルナンド・ペソア伝』]. Like this kind of completely empty lazy day, I want to enjoy this poet Pessoa's "The Book of Disquiet". A friend on Discord once said that my journals/writings have seemed for him like Pessoa's ones. How would you think? I can't see if it can be certainly...
