BGM: Jamiroquai - Canned Heat
I usually write this journal every morning. Now, I am facing the difficulty. What should I write? I can't see... so I remember the book I've read before. So I write various things/events I have experienced in its order.
This morning I attended the ZOOM meeting via Facebook as usual. At that meeting, I talked about my job. I have worked at a department store for about 20 years. The other members asked me a lot about that. For example, how do you work in these busy seasons (now is the time we sell a lot as the Black Friday sale), etc. It's always difficult for me to tell about my job because it contains my personal info, but it could be uncool if I hided my info completely. How should I try to be honest as I can? I can't see... because I am autistic?
Today I bought a book by Nayuta Miki (三木那由他『言葉の風景、哲学のレンズ』). Miki is one of my favorite authors. I have been interested in their (Miki chooses "they/them" as the pronouns) works recently, because I like their keen, interesting pieces of philosophical ideas within our daily lives. I've adored their smart brain which can find out various things in their life, and I even thought that I should write my new essay as they do. Could I create my new server as a philosophical café? Could I start my new blog? But if I did do so, it would bring me really confused situation. I should keep a calm mind.
The idea of philosophical café reminds me of the fact that I've been invited into the LINE group my friends had been organizing. I really appreciate it, and also I have this idea in my mind. Could I talk about the addictive mind in me to them? The internet [censored], alcohol, shopping, and more - I can never overcome this problem by myself alone. It might be based on my low self-esteem as I had mentioned in this journal.
But - this evening, although I had thought that I would try to make the paper for the next Monday meeting with my doctor, I couldn't. Oh, what a sad SLACKER I am!
