BGM: Genesis - Invisible Touch
Today I worked late. TBH I had to go to the hospital this morning because I had been said by a doctor that I needed to check my health via my company's health check. Therefore I was really busy and couldn't write anything to my job coach. The result of re-checking was that "your blood sugar level is a little bit too high". But my father also needs to cure about this problem, so it can be the one of "heredity". I need not to eat and drink too much, and care myself more. After that, I went to AEON and spent my time at the food court until the beginning time of my work. I write a few papers for my company, and also read Shuntaro Tanikawa's poem collection. Tanikawa writes about the sky a lot. What kind of poetry can I write? The sky, the mountains in this town, the trees from the food court... Can I be able to write the one as Hiroshi Osada's impressive works someday? Of course, love songs or protest songs are great enough. But I want to write more charming poetry. Funny, and nonsense ones.
I started my work, and from 3 pm I met my job coach. I told her about the result of the re-checking soon (because it is also one of her duties as a job coach). We talked about the topic as how we should do when we meet hurtful people (who run away from me even though I don't care them). At that time, I saw out of the window. There is a vast sky, and also clouds. Looking at them, I thought that "Hurtful people are like that kind of 'weather'". Yes, the weather... which can disturb my life sometimes. But the weather is just the weather. My life has to be my life. That's all... I can separate my life from those people, and also "should do separating". Of course, I need to consider how to live my life with the weather, but I have a right to enjoy my life without the weather. The job coach also said to me that "They, the people who do their work with their personal emotion of love/hate can't be any pros". I'm glad to hear that... and also I thought that "Then, Am I a pro? Can I say that I am doing a pro's job". I have to look inside myself.
Indeed, this can't be the pro's work... but TBH during my night work, my mother had called me and I noticed that on my smartphone (after that calling). Of course, I worried a lot. What happened? My parents are already in their 80s. It can be natural that they got sick or they had to go to hospital as an emergency state... I sent her a LINE message soon, and she answered that "I called you because I thought you are alright". Oh my gosh. I thought someone fell down by this summer's heat... I got alright again. I remembered that we (my job coach and I) talked about my life, my way of living. My father has been worrying about me because I have been working as an irregular employee. He wants me to work as a regular worker at my company... but then, I need to learn how to drive a car, and also have to endure the pressure of more serious work. I like the current "easy" and "comfortable" life like a cat. I said to my mother that "I want to do talking on LINE because I can read your messages again. I MUST read your ones and answer". I want to tell them about my life at my parents' house.
Through that working time, I have been writing my notebook of KOKUYO. A really orthodox, cheap blue one. Today's one came from the hiphop of the N.W.A. At lunchtime of my late work days, I write my draft of my poem on the notebook. I just write it as a graffiti or an action painting. After that, I make it "cool down". And the resting time of the sunset time, I read it again. After re-writing it on the notebook, I make that rewritten version "cool down" again. After going back to my group home, I upload it on my blog. I have created this process. Indeed, I want to upload on any sited after writing it as soon as possible. But I believe that it is too rapid, therefore it is too rough. It would end as crap. Once I tried to complete writing a short novel one night, but not I want to try to complete every work of mine slowly, steadily. I guess time is on my side. I always have taken the time, therefore the relationship with my parents have started rebounded again. My life (without sober) has been built with the long time, too. I don't have to work so rapidly. I need a time to rest because I have worked without any day off in there five days.
