BGM: Takkyu Ishino - stereo nights
Recently I am thinking that it is getting difficult for me to meet "unknown new books" at the library because I have been building a rule of choosing what books I have to read. Today I worked early, and after work, I went to the library and almost chose Haruki Murakami and Raymond Carver's books which I have read many times. But I thought again as it would give me no proceed. Of course, it wouldn't be nonsense to read the books I have already read because it might give me another things to learn, but I believe that the brand new fresh books which "certainly hurts me" as Franz Kafka said. But I can't see how to meet that kind of books completely. I should "wait" for those books to encounter. Today, I borrowed Alice Munro's short novels (I have never read her works).
Getting older and learning my shape... maybe I have learned how I am, so recently I rarely read the author which I don't like certainly as "I should learn something from this author". That way of choosing the books might be brought from that stance. For example, I think my taste of books is not the one which immerse me with a vast fantasy world, and lets me forget the real life and gives me a sublime pleasure. The minimal happiness of our every day life certainly suits me as Haruki Murakami and Raymond Carver writes. So I would try to read Marcel Proust even if I can't read his long novel completely, and I would never read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's long novels (although I like Marquez's short stories, I can't keep on reading his "One Hundred Years of Solitude" more than the first few sentences). This might be from my talent. I am just so dumb that I can't read Marquez completely. That's life.
I am saying my name as "disco cat". At the English conversation class, a member said to me why I am this name. It never has any profound meaning, but once when I changed previous name to the current name (because of the troublesome reason, I wanted to start everything newly again), I was listening to Takkyu Ishino's "throbbing disco cat" so I took my name from it very easily (and also, I like cats). In Japan, my name is "odoru neko" because "disco cat" is difficult for the other friends to pronounce so I translated it into Japanese. It is not my favorite, but I can't think of any better name, and it is getting fit to me with keeping on describing myself by using that name. So I am still using that name.
Can I talk about this more? I am caring the adjective "throbbing". I learned that this has the meaning of "shaking" so I used to keep on using this name as thinking "what does a 'shaking cat' mean? It must be a weird cat". But, I learned that this adjective also has the meaning of "beating", and can have a secret meaning. After that, I learned that this name had come from the post punk band from the UK throbbing gristle, and that can mean "a part of a body which is beating". Simply, this has the meaning of "that" part of the male body. This can sound as a creepy meaning so many foreign (English native) users say to me as "what a weird name!". I am now thinking how I should "rename" myself (I should call myself more creepy name?). Oh, that's a life.
