Today is a day off and I went to AEON to read some books as usual in the morning, but I could read nothing. Even I thought about a certain delusion that haunts and makes me think about 'the purpose of life' or 'the meaning of life'. I ran away from AEON and went to a library, and I found Rei Nagai's book "The philosopher in water" which had been in my interest. I borrowed it with Yoshio Kataoka's book "Seven short stories, in order to be written". I started Nagai's book and found that she describes philosophy as sinking into the water. I thought about this. "Then, what is the actual meaning of sinking into the water?"
"In the water"... For example, Are Hitoshi Nagai's or Wittgenstein's philosophy like the image of staying "in the water"? I don't think so. Of course, this is not Nagai's fault. I am just a twisted person... and I thought that "the water" means exactly my mind. I have never read Jung, but I imagined that the sea or the cluster of water is in my mind (or our minds). I sink into there and can reach the truth (it might be 'hidden').
Then, I remembered that Haruki Murakami describes the act of writing as going into a well. Sinking into the well just has the same meaning as diving into the depth I guess. So we can use this metaphor. I am a fan of Haruki, so I imagined that the water is in my mind. If I sink into there, I might be able to reach the truth or myself. But this is just my instant and selfish idea. I won't say that YOU should have the same idea as me or share it with me. it's stupid.
But, as the previous step of that stupid idea, we can share the idea that 'I' am a very shapeless and uncatchable element. I have read Seal's, Damasio's, and Gazzaniga's books. They even say that the core of myself/ourselves might be nowhere in myself/ourselves. It is not in a brain or a heart. Maybe it is just in the network of various guts. Then, I still can say that this self is like the water, can't I? I just started reading Nagai's book so I have to stop my selfish discussion at this point.