2022/11/13 English

I read an alpha blogger's confession: "My energy has been decreasing since my 40s arrived". I thought about myself. I had thought I would die in my 40 like Kafka so once I had sunk into alcohol and lived a troublesome life. At that 40, I stopped drinking alcohol and started staying sober and square. At that time I started a habit of watching movies and also attended offline meetings about autism. In a way, my life began again since my 40. Of course, we can choose any lifestyle as Syutoku Mukai, the frontperson of Number Girl sings "Never trust correct answer". In my life, energy might change its quality but has been kept the same.

Today was a day off. This morning, I googled Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The USA" and made a draft for the meeting I'm going to attend on next Thursday. I also tried to translate it into Japanese. I thought that this title might have the meaning "America had given birth to me there" or "It was something that born me in America" so I tried to contain that understanding. I won't write this because it certainly needs a spoiler, but I agree with the opinion that this song must be "the most misunderstood song in rock history". So I took that description as the title of my presentation.

After that, I took lunch and a nap. I watched Andrew Dominik’s movie "Blonde" on Netflix. TBH this movie has been criticized on Rotten Tomatoes and filmarks I heard. I guess it can be. Simply, this movie is too long and we have to endure a long, really long nightmare time the main character experiences in this movie. We can feel no catharsis. This movie has really dynamic camera work and that nightmare description so I thought that this is really Lars von Trier-like. But Trier's movie has been praised so my "telling" might be wrong. Yes, it must be wrong...

This evening I watched Bruce Springsteen and Tom Genie's movie "Western Stars". The "Boss" is already in his 70s, but he keeps his powerful activity as a musician. I have been impressed by such great stoicism. In this movie, we can enjoy his rich and marvelous music and also approach his philosophy of daily life. Simply, the people who have a strong "core" must be strong (of course, this is just a "clear" truth). I thought that I have to write the "outside" of my life by reading and watching. From now, I want to change my way step by step. I won't be afraid of change.