2022/11/03 English

This morning I enjoyed the room Judith had opened on Clubhouse. I talked about the story of my memo pad. Writing various ideas on my memo pad... Talking like this, I thought my English was not good enough. I couldn't be proud of the words which were from my mouth instantly because they might be random. But Judith tried to seek what I was saying and talked about her diary and memo. Judith always follows us and tries to see what we are saying. This skill and personality attract me.

Today was a day off so I went to Aeon and read Susumu Sogo's "Can't live without movies 1999-2002". I chose Blur's "The Magic Whip" as the background music. I can remember that Blur's music always has saved me. Blur and Susumu Sogo. Both are really "adults". Their attitude is just the trial of surviving our hard lives with their sense of humor. Humor or the delicacy of adults. I even feel that I must be in the middle of misery, and captured by self-pity. But that attitude won't be followed by anyone. I want to see the front of me.

This afternoon I watched Wong Kar Wai’s movie "In the mood for love" in my free time. I have watched his movie "Chungking Express" but I couldn't enjoy it simply (indeed, I admit that was a great movie) so I didn't want to watch this. But I found that this was really an "adult" movie to enjoy. A really mature one. It was the one in which two people's moods for love attracted us, but that mood was better than any sexual and sensual ones. I was impressed by the power of Wong Kar Wai’s mature personality. I have to be ashamed because I had thought he was just hype.

This evening I wondered if I should watch one more movie, but finally, I started reading Susumu Sogo's "Can't live without movies 2003-2006". In this book, I found that Yasunari Kawabata had written his "The Sound of the Mountain" at 50. It made me quiet for a while because I had read it once and thought it must be the one he had matured more. This might be why I have to be embarrassed, but I am 47 and still feel sexual desire in me. I also have curiosity. Indeed, the (physical and mental )energy in me is decreasing but I still can feel that I am the same as in my 20s when I enjoyed Blur's "Parklife" and "The Great Escape". I have to get shocked because I am still so young like that.