Once an ex-friend said to me "why don't you start getting welfare and live easily without any labor?". Indeed, it must be a smart way to live on. Without working, being a 'parasite' to this country or my parents. But I don't want to be like that. Maybe I believe that working has a certain value somewhere in my mind. But I think that's not enough. For me, working is not such an abstract act. Wearing my uniform, entering my workplace, moving things actually, and talking to someone. Working is a cluster of those things. And through those actions, I commit to this society. Probably I want to feel those activities actually.
This morning, I went to my workplace and started my work even if I had had the feeling that I wanted to stay home and lie on my bad. Then, my mood started following my body's movement. I could grip the natural flow with the feeling of my work and my mind getting together and starting making. I can call it 'magic'. Basically, I don't like the work. As I always write, I don't have any professionalism. But if I am needed, I want to answer that needing and help them. This might be from the essays by Susumu Sogo I always read.
I'm reading Shinji Aoyama's "Turtles in Takaragaike don't sink". Sometimes his writing gets difficult and intelligent as Shigehiko Hasumi haunted him, but basically, it's clear and easy to read. Shinji Aoyama is a person who made many great movies and also wrote novels that are praised by many critics. I should read them. Touching various movies and watching interesting TV programs, he watched the real world as a creator. It shows that kind of activist figure. How did he spend the time in the 'later' period of his life? I should read this carefully.
I'm thinking about Naomi Kawase's speech at Tokyo University. I won't blame her as she said a bullshit thing. The 'evil' we think might be a 'justice' by others? We have to do such relativization (through that act, we can ask about the 'justice' we rely on again). But if we did that kind of relativizing too much, we could treat nothing as it must be evil (for example, we should say that massacre of ordinary people must be prohibited). We have to say that evil is basically evil. That's all I guess. I remember Haruki Murakami's 'the egg and the wall'. Like Murakami's speech, Kawase's one might be 'used' easily by anyone. Yes, she was naive at that point.