2022/11/10 English

Today I worked early. The same day as every day. No changes... the repetition of that kind of day. But I should be thankful for these peaceful days coming. A plain day... the day I can watch a movie, enjoy my work, and read a book. The collection of my movie reviews got over 200 reviews, and short reviews on Filmarks got over 600. Keep on keeping on. Once I dreamt that I wanted to get buzzed and become famous. I was really silly. At last, doing my effort steadily would make something big happen... I can't see, but I can believe that.

When Xmas season arrives, I want to watch Wayne Wang's movie "Smoke" again. in 1995, I watched this movie in Ebisu and was really impressed, and by then I got a habit of reflecting the heat that still remains in me by watching that movie. This movie is, for me, a human touch story by a skilled storyteller. The story which Paul Auster, the writer I respect, is a well-made one. And Wayne Wang made it into a great movie without losing any taste in an original story. I am really a happy person because I could meet such a great movie.

Ah, many days and many nights passed since I met that "Smoke" when I was 20. Through them, although I became a heavy drinker and even almost die, it is a really wonderful life. Can I become a tough person? Tough as the boss of a cigar shop Harvey Keitel acts... maybe I can't become like that. But at least, I can learn a kind of "street-wise". Once someone said to me that "you can only do dutifully what books tell". It is, from now, a good memory.

In my company, once I tried to delete myself, my character. I tried to be a nobody, a plain man who didn't harm anybody's work... now I say that I am an autistic person. I even write my memo in English and show my character. Time changes. Once I tried to be a cheerful, funny person on Twitter and Facebook. Now I believe that I have to be natural because it is simply pleasant. If I try to be myself, wonderfully people come near me. Today I did my work and watched a movie. Peacefully... I am really glad to enjoy today.