2022/09/26 English

Today I went to the hospital to see the doctor and got some medicines. After that, I went to Aeon and read Haruki Murakami's "Underground 2". This book has various interviews with the people who had been AUM members once, and I prefer this book to the same Haruki's "Underground" which has many interviews with the victims of The Tokyo subway sarin attack. That might come from the mind of "I might stand the side of spreading Sarin" I certainly have. I can't deny that I might do terrorism that is based on the mind of making this world better and adoring the charisma of Shoko Asahara.

Reflecting on my life until now, I certainly have felt that it was hard to live in this world, and seemed that the adults around me were idiots and therefore I couldn't adapt myself to their logic. Why do I live? What is my role in this world? These questions made me isolated from the world. If I met a group like AUM at that period as a lonely person, I must be swallowed by them. I am not strong. Luckily, I had Haruki Murakami's novels and other rich pop culture.

Haruki Murakami tells Hayao Kawai in this book that AUM is the symbol of 'Evil'. But I want to think deeply and try to think that if AUM was based on 'Good', in other ways if they seriously wanted to salvage this world and the people therefore they spread sarin. Indeed, Shoko Asahara was just a tiny snob, but the members just might think that this world also must be 'snob' and 'evil' simply. Then, The sarin attack becomes the result of overworking their 'Good', not 'Evil'. Therefore it becomes more dangerous. We can find that kind of overworking 'Good' on the net.

I watched the second episode of "Extraordinary Attorney Woo". TBH recently I am into Korean culture and joined a server which is for discussing Korea. This drama has the main character who has an autistic smartness in her way of thinking, and also various people who try to understand her even if they sometimes misunderstand her. It is exactly charming. I have no knowledge about Korea so want to learn. But I guess that Japanese culture might be lesser than rich Korean culture. If so, the nationalism/patriotism in me hurts. If I was the right person, I would get angry about this situation.