BGM: Flipper's Guitar "Big Bad Bingo"
Today I worked early. This morning I remembered my past... the dark history of my life. Once, I wanted to be praised or looked at so did various things... spending my days on Twitter and trying to gain many followers. Now I don't have that kind of idea. As I wrote once, now I can connect myself with true trustable people on Discord, Facebook, and in my real life. Therefore I started thinking "why should I be so famous?". I am never an ideologue so shouldn't be famous. I choose my natural style.
Now I can think so and be satisfied, so it tells me that once I had not met trustable people yet. Indeed, I had few people who stood by me. So I had a huge and terrible desire of becoming famous on the internet or being big, but that couldn't suitable for me. Now I can feel that there are various people who try to do a lot of things for me in the real life. So I think that some people who are controlled by fragmental information on the net throw themselves into foolish troubles as miserable. I want to treat this certain human relationship preciously.
After returning to my group home, I watched Twitter and learned that Jean-Luc Godard had passed away. I told about this to a friend in Kyushu on WhatsApp, then he was also surprised. About Godard, once I had a stubborn bias as he must be a great director, so I thought I was just numb because I couldn't understand his movies. Yes, it was when I had not known movies... so tried a lot to understand. What a shame! It must be authoritarianism. In my opinion, we have to watch many, many movies and try to understand movies' rhythms by our bodies to understand Godard's movies.
Indeed, this is just my opinion and that's all. Godard was the person who had watched movies like showers. So we have to understand that he had tried to crash the style of orthodox movies. For understanding this, we need to understand the 'style' or 'cliché' at first. At least, for me, the process of understanding Godard's masterpieces was also the process of understanding 'cliché' itself. I became understanding of Godard, so I felt that I had made myself improved exactly. He taught me how movies are exciting basically. A maestro had passed away. Rest in peace.
