BGM: Pet Shop Boys "Dreaming Of The Queen"
When I was a high school student, I met various articles/columns by Koichi Yamazaki. From that time, I have learned his style of thinking as "multifaceted think". I might do that kind of thinking somewhere in my mind. I might misunderstand his words, but it means for me the attitude of accepting opposite facts in my thought as one. With thinking about the nationalism Shinzo Abe declared, also treating the mentality of the people who dedicated flowers for his death. Or praying for Queen Elisabeth, imagining her possibility of being hated by some people (this means doubting if Japanese presses are trying to make the myth as "everybody loved her").
Thinking this, I am so sad because I am so cynical that I even have such a bold idea. It is understandable that I was bullied by my classmates. But I also think that the temptation of wishing for accepting the facts as clarified. I guess that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie had said that kind of temptation as "the danger of a single story". TBH I am a lazy person so sometimes can't deny that kind of 'stereotype' image or bias. So I say to myself that I should touch real things to crash my bias and try to think by my head or my whole self.
Tomorrow is the day of 9.11 terrorism. Time flies... I can remember nothing about the day it happened. At that period, I had been a heavy drinker so I just thought that "I wanna die soon" or "I'm tired of this life" with negative thinking, and spent my youthful days as craps. I had given up everything... Or I might think that it was far from Japan. The accident in America was the one beyond the pacific sea so nothing was related to us... Probably I even thought so. Now I have a different idea. Thinking about the possibility that any terrorism can crash our peaceful life (that kind of 'terrifying' our lives must be the essence of terrorism) has an important meaning I guess.
Where can this kind of relationship between "Global issues" and "my life" meet in my mind? How to accept personal things and global issues as one? I have a lot of friends on Discord and WhatsApp, and they tell me various things. The things that Japanese Twitter won't tell me... that kind of 'their' real and my real from my life. I want to think of them as one in my thought with a static stance, and steadily. I won't try to be an ideologue or intellectual. If I tried to do so, I must show that I am just an idiot. I never do the things that won't fit me or that I never want to do. That is the key that I have learned to live my life freely with no stress.
