BGM: The Bluetones - If...
I worked early today. This morning, I saw some girls who were wearing kimono, and it reminded me of that a ceremony of "coming of age(成人の日)" had been held in my town today. I try to remember how it actually was when I had been 20 years old, but I can't tell anything certainly (of course, it was really a long, long time ago...)
I try to write the facts one by one - at that period I had lived in Tokyo, and stayed in Waseda. But, it was NEVER a happy memory. In those days, I had been suffered from a certain, huge frustration in me toward this world (yes, I say it must be a kind of "rage") and also toward myself. Therefore I didn't attend any ceremonies.
Remembering/looking back at those days, I could think that anything about that kind of "coming of age" ceremonies must be nonsense (I even thought they were "brainwashed"). I could call/describe that as a kind of "facism of happiness" or a notorious Japanese concept "peer pressure"... Writing this, I start thinking that how I had been a miserable, foolish person. Now I think that kind of ceremonies certainly have an important meaning. Yes, I have been changed eventually. That's life.
Probably, the year 1995 (at that year, I was exactly 20) had not been such a happy year for us toward the brighten future... That year, an earthquake had happened in Japan. And also, a cult group called AUM had done a notorious incident (a kind of terrorism.) Also, the economical depression was really serious, therefore no happy atmosphere was there.
After that unhappy year of becoming an adult, I had to experience various events. This year, I become 49. Can I say that I have become an adult completely? Who can see... But at least, one of the most important things I have learned was this. I can't deny other people in my life. Once, I had thought that I had to live my life without anyone's help. Therefore I couldn't do any co-operations or collaborations. But now, it seems that I can work in my workplace or my private life with other people. OH! I need to think about this more, as steadily as I can.
