BGM: R.E.M. "Shiny Happy People"
Today I worked late. This morning, I had a little time to read Yoshio Kataoka's "Afterword". As this title says, this book is a collection of his "afterword", which were already contained in his numerous books. I was surprised by the fact that he has written the afterword in diverse ways. From essays that tell us what he experienced to a kind of 'dialogues'. From his early serious critical articles to fashionable novels in his glory days to recent achievements. But when I read the career he has built through this book, I can see that his basic essence has never changed easily.
Yoshio Kataoka sometimes makes a female character in his novels or essays. Who is this female character? Of course, she seems not to be in this world so we can consider that she is an ideal person. If we thought easily, then she is just his idea therefore she is not a quite 'mysterious' other person. But Kataoka talks to her (his idea) sincerely, and tries to make the beginning of his critics or dramas in his novels. Therefore, I can say that his talking to her means his trial to face the other himself. I want to think more deeply.
This morning, I felt strong anxiety again. So I sent a person some silly messages on Discord. Oh my gosh. But I moved from my group home and went to Aeon, and tried to read a book, then I got into a comfortable mood exactly. How should I spend the morning time? What should I do? I don't have any conclusions... I can't spend a whole day reading. So I might have to try to write essays about books, or some 'dialogues' in myself on Discord like Kataoka does.
Anyway, I spent my morning time with Paul McCartney's solo album. I thought that Kataoka's works and Paul's ones are connected with a great coincidence. For them, creating and living are the same. They can create their works like breathing, very naturally. I thought that I had better write about books to give the thoughts in me some certain shape. I named it "Bookdive". I want to write about Kataoka's "Afterword" and "Reading person".
