BGM: PRISM "metronome melody"
Today I attended the online meeting about autism, but we had to end in this morning because members are just three (besides me). I talked about my past. Once, when the time I hadn't learned that I was an autistic person, I thought that I might have a problem with my personality (so-called personality disorder). My life was challenging because of my personality itself... I thought so and tried to change this personality. The leader of the independent self-help circle I had belonged to denied my thoughts completely, and I couldn't endure that so ended up breaking up. I remembered that, and that was my 30s.
Other members talked about how she does her work during this corona period and the reality of job coaches. The works that have no apparent forms, and the works that we often consider should be there... the former are the works still in workers' brains as ideas. The latter are controlling the net environment or setting infrastructure. Yes, both are important but invisible works. But these works themselves follow us, therefore we can do our works themselves. These invisible works might be a kind of 'safety net'. I might learn one more lesson from this meeting.
After the meeting, I went to a library. Attracted by the quote "Kazushi Hosaka must be a Japanese Jon McGregor" in Takashi Akutsu's journal, I thought that I had to follow him because I am a fan of Kazushi Hosaka, so I borrowed that Jon McGregor's "If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things". And I read it a little, but I found that it might not be similar to Hosaka completely. Of course, I should read this completely. But I can just say that I felt it could be an easier version of Mieko Kanai's "The sea without shores". Indeed, these books are like proses but they are different like Nick Drake and Aztec Camera (sorry for the maniac metaphor).
Like this, I spent the whole afternoon reading. Lying on the bed and reading books, and these are all. Quite a creative way of spending time! At night I talked with other people on the app LINE. They had been doing the discussion of "why can't the Japanese speak English?". IMO, it is difficult to say that the Japanese can't speak English because in this society there are a lot of English expressions. So I guess they just need the opportunities to speak English more and that's all (Me, I had never thought that I would express my days in English 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago). We might have to put English expressions into our daily life like Lou Ohshiba or Tetsuro Degawa.