Today I worked late. In the morning I listened to Little Tempo's music and read Takuo Aoyama's "What is the time for our mind". And I thought about the time I spend reading books at Aeon as usual. I feel happy with books and good music. People might say that it must be very tiny happiness. You could feel happier if you gained and made success... But I like 'this' tiny happiness. I won't say more. Just I can feel good music and have a lonely time. I don't want to forget this.
The way of the rhetoric 'Prosopopoeia'. 'This world' or 'this life' leads me to the current situation... Yes, this is just a problem of expression. This world or this life has no will as we human beings. So I made a trick by using 'this world' and 'this life' as they have a will. This leads us to the way of thinking 'God only knows' etc. But I won't say this is totally nonsense. I sometimes think that there might be a will beyond our human beings, and it controls me.
If I thought about this idea more, then it would become 'my life has been controlled by something'. I am just a slave of my fate... I can see what this expression says. I am also the person who understands the fact that something beyond me has led me to this situation controlled by various things beyond my will. I joined Waseda accidentally, I met my friends accidentally, and so on... I can't make a logical explanation about them. It could happen so it happened. This world is just chaos like that.
Descartes says that ' think therefore I am'. In another way, I can't doubt the fact that I am thinking like this. But I have another opinion. The things I think about are original? Or I just have been made by something else? I have been controlled by unconsciousness. If I thought about this more, then I would have to learn quantum physics besides philosophy.