Back To Life

Back To Reality

Being a daydreamer and doing as an activist

Am I dreaming? I ask myself this. I'm waiting for something nice to happen? Like an anime movie, a girl would fall from the sky... am I waiting like that kind of event? I ask myself... Once I waited for something miraculous to happen. I waited for a long time... like Terry Gilliam's movie or Kafka's short story. I was a weak person so afraid of doing any action from myself. I wished something nice would happen and it changed my situation. That could bring me more money and girls...

Then, that kind of dream is bad? I can't say it's good or bad. But I should separate daydreaming and pure dreaming. I was once sinking into a daydream like I could get a hit of any Lottery or could become a star because of buzzing on social media. But these are just a daydream and like a mirage. I have to think smartly and achieve something steadily...

I started writing a journal. I didn't have any ambition about this. I just felt sad because my days had gone away with no results. I wanted to record my days and build them as a monument. Now I have been writing this for over 160 days.

Yes, dreaming is important. Dreaming means looking out of this reality I guess. But if I lost myself in the daydream, I had to go back to reality and feel this real feeling. I touch my keyboard and see the display. I type my truth and record it via that real keyboard. If I could so, dreaming and reality can't be separated things. It's one thing and it moves me more. So, having a dream and doing some activity are both important...

I remember the quote by Antonio Gramsci... "Pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will". I can change this as "Being a daydreamer and doing as an activist".