What is our language? By thinking that, I wanted to read Akiko Ikeda's books. So I tried to read her book "REMARK". She was a philosopher who died in her middle age. I have not read her works so much but I respect her because she thought so deeply. I want to follow her thinking style... basically, my concern might be that kind of philosophical genre. Thinking what is language, and what is thinking itself (Do animals think something?). Sometimes I can't handle my brain because it's too much for me. But thinking too much might be useful because of its surpluses.
Today I've watched Yasujiro Ozu's movie "Late Autumn". It's a story about a woman who lives alone because her husband had passed away. She lives with her daughter who is thinking about her marriage because of her age. They think about their marriage which they should face. The possibility of becoming someone's wife. I respect Ozu's movies because the characters always go forward and grow up. They don't save themselves and staying in the same state too much. They try to change themselves. Facing the chance of changing and try to change themselves with a certain will. I got some power from their attitudes. This might be my turning point.
Sometimes, I can't see what I should write in this journal. My ideas are rubbish so I should write them with no decorations but I can't do that. I remember the writer Komimasa Tanaka who I respect. His words (I want to call him "Komi-san" with respect) look like just banal or flat writing. But they are basically based on his serious thinking by the great sense of philosophy. I should read his works like "Poroporo" again. Can I buy his essays which have 6 volumes in Chikuma Bunko?
The person who was once at my group home's staff and helped me lined me. She said that she wanted to line me for learning English. I accepted it. I have not learned English with some strict or formal education (even if I had learned English literature, I just read books and didn't follow lectures). But my opinion is this. English is the language we talk about by our body. We have to hit words in ourselves (not in brains but in bodies). Then, the words we hit come upon the surfaces of our consciousnesses when we talk. I think that speaking English is a kind of sport. I talked English today as pro golfers grip their clubs.
