I've watched the movie "Kim-Ji Young, Born 1982". It's about the portrait of the woman who sometimes has been haunted by her grandmother's personality. She had had her trouble but finally becomes the person who can represent her feeling as novels to outside through a lot of troubles. I could enjoy this movie. I am just a man and therefore I have never felt the feminine essence in myself. So I have learned the difficulty of being a woman in this society through this movie. Yes, sexual harassment and the battle against dirty men. The inequality at schools, families, and offices... This is quite a good job which opened these kinds of difficulties to live. Quite keen eyes to the world! I want to read the novel.
I write this again. Once all I could trust were books. People (or human beings) lie. They do harmful things. But books don't lie and show their honest faces. Ah... a sad period had been there. Now I can feel that friends are standing by me. Their forces and warmness are there. I feel that this life is good. And I also feel that the past when I should live only with books was quite a hard time. I think that at that period I thought I couldn't die without becoming a novelist. Now I don't have such an idea. I have a dream at my office...
However, I also think this journal must have been read by a lot of readers. Why this journal isn't read by them? If it did, I could be free from my work and also meet big persons and do great works. It might sound strange but that kind of delusion appears at the time I have done little things. At the working time, any delusions don't appear. This fact tells that. I have to say that this might be just my case, I could be a boring person if I didn't do my work. Doing the work and committing the society. Then, delusions disappear just like ghosts. The reason I do the work might be from that kind of reason.
Always I write my journal with listening to music. Now I'm listening to Blur's "The Great Escape". This has been the one I have listened to from my youth days. This album contains the essence of pop and English poisonous jokes or senses of humor (Yes, England is the country of the Beatles!). I think about the power of humor. V.E.Frankle also writes about the power of humor. This journal might need the power of humor. I have to write lies as Hiromi Kawakami does at her "Tokyo Diary". But I can't tell funny lies which can entertain you.
