In the morning, I had watched the drama "THIS IS US". It is always a good, serious drama. Every character tries to go over their missions. Their attitude makes me also powerful. The actors try to understand their roles and represent their thought by deep thinking. Their seriousness sometimes makes me tired. I'm interested in the character Toby who is a comical but smart person. His appearance makes this drama lighter and comfortable. Who is this actor?
I went to the library and borrowed Eric Hoffer's autobiography "Truth Imagined". I started reading it. Recently I am interested in this author. He is a person who worked physically and made his original thinking without studying at any schools. His intelligence is therefore very unique. I want to follow him (of course, this might be insolent). He writes like this (this quote is not original. I tried to translate Japanese translation into English again). "Getting used to is making the blade of life numb. Probably staying eternal outsider, being the visitor from another planet might be the evidence of the artists".
I've watched a documentary "Caught In The Net". I have never lived my life as a woman. So I have to IMAGINE how the violent sexual desire from the men to the "girls" in this movie (seeing the pics of men's symbol might hurt "girls"). It was a very interesting movie. But I thought that the "girls" should talk about their hurt minds in words because the damages in their minds were invisible, But, of course, that may mean "second rape" so the damages should be treated carefully.
I went to the "stop-drinking-alcohol" meeting. Oh... I have worked at the company for over 20 years. Someday I wanted to be a big, rich, great man... I thought like that. But I couldn't be. When I was drunk, all I thought was I wanted to die and end this shit life. Dying by alcohol was great... I believed that. When one door shuts another opens. I had lived a miserable life but now my life has got profound since 40 years old. I can't see this life can be. I just live blown by the wind and live as a jaywalk.