Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/08/15 English

Today a person said to me "Thank you". "Thank you"... grateful words. In the previous section, no one had said to me "Thank you" because they had thought my work was a duty and therefore I should do it. In the current section, the people often said to me like that (but my boss never says it). "Thank you"... magical words. They make me feel that I have become a useful person. I am a valuable, supporting person... this kind of feeling. It might make people do their works with pleasure, even if they don't expect so.

Once I had written a novel with a strong passion so I didn't do my work seriously. I had wanted to be a writer but it had ended as a failure. Finally, a person said that "You shouldn't do it because you're not good at it". Thinking about it, I was basically wrong. Now I believe that doing basic works makes me write good novels. I should treat my life carefully and preciously. For example, basic works and private enjoyment. Of course, we have great writers who had lived a broken life as Osamu Dazai. These writers are not rare. But I am not Dazai. That's all. Good life brings me happiness even if I can't write good novels. And if I can't write good novels, I have to accept the fact that I have no talent. That's all.

I'm reading "Working and Thinking on the Waterfront" by Eric Hoffer. It's in Japanese so I write these sentences from it to here in English. "The active society is the society which thinks about toys and which people work seriously for unnecessary things than necessity". I can't see what Hoffer is saying about "necessary things". But if it is the thing for entertainment and leisure, or a waste (but the waste which brings us pleasure), I agree with him. It is clear that essential workers support this society, but they aren't just only the people who do valuable works. Everybody can be useful. I have to think about this.

I've watched Majid Majidi's "Baran". After that, I attended a meeting on ZOOM and talked about various things. It was the meeting that I knew at the philosophy-oriented group on LINE. Today we did self-introduction and a game. I enjoyed myself. We can share our problems or concern in that group and I found the place for myself in it. The place means good. I wrote about "Thank you" and that means I can find the place to be. Yes, I might have created the place to be...